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Asherat. She’s not free to make claims on me. And I will not offer what I did once before.”
“Melisande Shahrizai doesn’t need her freedom to make claims on you,” Joscelin whispered. “And you don’t need to offer. Do you think I don’t know that?”
“Joscelin.” I dropped the letter and rubbed my temples. My head ached fiercely. “What do you want me to do? Stay here and slowly go mad, thinking about Hyacinthe and spending my days praying some poor, God-ridden Habiru mystic will stumble across the Sacred Name? I don’t want to see Melisande; Blessed Elua knows I don’t want to help her! But there have been dreams and visions pointing the way, and I prayed to Elua to show it to me. Now my prayer is answered; a letter, like a portent. What am I to do? Ignore it?” I let my hands fall to my lap and shook my aching head. “I can’t.”
“I’ll go.” Ti-Philippe’s words sounded abrupt. “The Tsingano said the path would be dark. Well, I’m not afraid of darkness.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t imagine we’ll see aught worse than we’ve seen before, my lady. And I’m not afraid of your facing Melisande Shahrizai. Whatever it is between you, you’ve outfaced her twice before, and won.” He glanced at Joscelin. “People forget that.”
“I don’t forget!” Joscelin raised his voice sharply. In the old days, they had quarrelled often; this was the first time since La Serenissima. “But I don’t trust anyone’s luck to continue forever, even Phèdre’s. And if you think you have seen all the world holds of darkness, chevalier, you are sore mistaken.”
“Just because I’m no Cassiline to spend countless hours meditating on the damnation of my-”
“Enough!” I cut them off before the quarrel could escalate. “Joscelin,” I said, fixing him with my gaze. “I am going to do this thing. Is it your will to accompany me?”
His smile was tight as a grimace. “I have sworn it. To damnation and beyond,” he added, casting a pointed glance in Ti-Philippe’s direction. “Though I would sooner that than Melisande’s doorstep.”
“My lady, you would be better served- ” Ti-Philippe began.
“No.” I shook my head at him. “Philippe, I value your courage and your loyalty more than I can say. But if there is anyone I need at my side, it is Joscelin. You, I need here. I need someone I can trust to keep watch over my household and my estates. And I need to know,” I said gently, “someone is here, safe and well, keeping the lamps lit for our safe return.”
Now it was Ti-Philippe who had tears in his eyes. “My lady,” he said, “you know I would face any danger on your behalf.”
“I know. I am asking you not to, and mayhap it is a harder thing.” I laughed. “Anyway, of what are we speaking? A spring journey to La Serenissima? We’ll be there and back inside a month. A paltry thing, as dangers go.”
“There are no paltry dangers where Melisande Shahrizai is concerned,” Joscelin muttered. “Captive, or no.”
Ysandre, predictably, was displeased. I had to tell her, reckoning I owed my Queen as much. She scowled at me and paced the pleasant bounds of the drawing-room in which we met, her mood and actions more suitable to official chambers. I stood patiently and waited out her anger, glad of Joscelin’s solid presence at my shoulder. For some reason, she had far greater faith in him not to undertake anything foolish-a misplaced sentiment, in my opinion. Ysandre had not been there when Joscelin crawled the underside of a hanging bridge to the prison-fortress of La Dolorosa and assailed it single-handed with naught but his daggers. Well and so, if Ysandre de la Courcel thought a Cassiline less rash than a courtesan, let her. I knew better.
For his part, Drustan mab Necthana said nothing, only sitting and thinking, his dark eyes grave and thoughtful. He had sailed to the Three Sisters on the strength of Sibeal’s dream; he would not gainsay my going.
“Fine,” Ysandre said at last, irritable, fetching up before us. “Go. I tried to dissuade you once before, and I was in the wrong; I swore I would not do it again. Only remember, Melisande played you for a fool the entire time, and it is only with Elua’s blessing that we are not all dead of it. If you think this is aught different, you’re making the same mistake.” She looked curiously at me. “Do you even have the slightest idea what game she’s playing at now?”
“No.” I answered
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