L Is for Lawless

monster."
    "Then why can't you just let it go and move on? You were treated unfairly. It's created some problems, but it's over and done with."
    "Except that I've been marked for life and I've got two dead marriages to prove it. I'm willing to accept that. What I'm not willing to do is smooth it all over just to make her feel good."
    "Kinsey, I'm uncomfortable with this…
grudge
you've been carrying. It's not healthy."
    "Oh, come off it. Why don't you let me worry about the
grudge?"
I said. "You know what I've finally learned? I don't have to be perfect. I can feel what I feel and be who I am, and if that makes you uncomfortable, then maybe
you're
the one with the problem, not me."
    "You're determined to take offense, aren't you?"
    "Hey, babe, I didn't call you. You called
me"
I said. "The point is, it's too late."
    "You sound so
bitter"
    "I'm not bitter. I'm realistic."
    I could sense her debate with herself about where to go next. The attorney in her nature was probably inclined to go after me like a hostile witness. "Well, I can see there's no point in pursuing this."
    "Right."
    "Under the circumstances, there doesn't seem to be any reason for having lunch, either."
    "Probably not."
    She blew out a big breath. "Well. If there's ever anything I can do for you, I hope you'll call," she said.
    "I appreciate that. I can't think what it'd be, but I'll keep that in mind."
    I hung up the phone, the small of my back feeling damp from tension. I let out a bark and shook myself from head to toe. Then I fled the premises, worried Tasha would turn around and call back. I hit the supermarket, where I picked up the essentials: milk, bread, and toilet paper. I stopped by the bank and deposited a check, withdrew fifty bucks in cash, filled my VW with gas, and then came home again. I was just in the process of putting groceries away when the phone rang. I lifted the receiver with trepidation. The voice that greeted me was Bucky's.
    "Hey, Kinsey? This is Bucky. I think you better get over here. Somebody broke into Pap's apartment and you might want to take a look."

3
    I knocked at Bucky's front door for the second time that day. The early afternoon sun was beginning to bake the grass, and the herbal scent of dried weeds permeated the November air. To my right, through a stucco archway opening onto a short length of porch, I could see the scalloped edge of the old red-tile roof. In Santa Teresa the roof tiles used to be handmade, the C-curve shaped by laying the clay across the tile worker's thigh. Now the tiles are all S shaped, made by machine, and the old roofs are sold at a premium. The one I was looking at was probably worth ten to fifteen grand. The break-in artists should have had a go at that instead of the old man's apartment with its cracked linoleum.
    Babe opened the door. She had changed clothes, discarding her black T-shirt and black pedal pushers in favor of a shapeless cotton shift. Her eyes were enormous, the color of milk chocolate, her cheeks sprinkled with freckles. Her excess weight was evenly distributed, as if she'd zipped herself into an insulated rubber wet suit.
    "Hi. I'm Kinsey. Bucky called and asked if I'd stop by."
    "Oh, yeah. Nice to meet you. Sorry I missed you earlier."
    "I figured we'd meet eventually. Is Bucky out back?"
    She ducked her head, breaking off eye contact. "Him and his dad. Chester's been screaming ever since we got home. What a butt," she murmured. "He's all the time hollering. I can't hardly stand that. I mean, we didn't make the mess, so why's he yelling at us?"
    "Did they call the police?"
    "Uhn-hun, and they're on their way. Supposedly," she added with disdain. Maybe in her experience, the cops never showed up when they said. Her voice was breathy and soft. She was a bit of a mumbler, managing to speak without moving her lips. Maybe she was practicing to be a ventriloquist. She stepped back to let me enter, and then I followed her through the hallway as I had earlier with Bucky. Her rubber flip-flops made sucking noises on the hardwood floor.
    "I take it you just got home," I said. I found myself talking to the back of her head, watching the bunch and release of her calves as she moved. Mentally, I put her on a weight program… something really really strict.
    "Uhn-hun. Little while ago. We went out to Colgate to visit my mom. Chester got home first. He bought this ceiling light he was fixing to put in? When he went upstairs, he could see where the window was broke, all this