Lightning

a primo flop, that character. The audience
spat
at me, Shane, they brought in the casino's security guard and tried to have me arrested, they questioned my right to share the same planet with them—oh, they were rude, Shane, they were—"
    Suddenly she halted in the middle of her patter and burst into tears. She rushed to Laura, threw her arms around her. "Oh, Jesus, Laura, I was scared, I was so scared. When I heard the news about San Bernardino, machine guns, and then the way they found your house at Big Bear, I thought you… or maybe Chris… I was so worried…"
    Holding Thelma as tightly as Thelma was holding her, Laura said, "I'll tell you all about it, but the main thing is we're all right, and we think maybe we have a way to get out of the hole we're in."
    "Why didn't you call me, you silly bitch?"
    "I did call you."
    "Only this morning! Two
days
after you're splashed all over the newspapers. I nearly went crazy."
    "I'm sorry. I should've called sooner. I just didn't want to get you involved if I could avoid it."
    Reluctantly Thelma let go of her. "I'm inevitably, deeply, and hopelessly involved, you idiot, because
you're
involved." She pulled a Kleenex from a pocket of her suede jacket and blotted her eyes.
    "You have another one of those?" Laura asked.
    Thelma gave her a Kleenex, and they both blew their noses.
    "We were on the lam, Aunt Thelma," Chris said. "It's hard to stay in touch with people when you're on the lam."
    Taking a deep, shuddery breath, Thelma said, "So, Shane, where are you keeping your collection of severed heads? In the bathroom? I heard you left one behind in San Bernardino. Sloppy. Is this a new hobby of yours, or have you always had an appreciation for the beauty of the human head unencumbered by all the messy extremities?"
    "I want you to meet someone," Laura said. "Thelma Ackerson, this is Stefan Krieger."
    "Pleased to meet you," Thelma said.
    "You'll excuse me if I don't get up," Stefan said. "I'm still recuperating."
    "If you can excuse this wig, I can excuse anything." To Laura, Thelma said, "Is he who I think he is?"
    "Yes."
    "Your guardian?"
    "Yes."
    Thelma went to Stefan and kissed him wetly on both cheeks. "I've no idea where you come from or who the hell you are, Stefan Krieger, but I love you for all the times you've helped my Laura." She stepped back and sat on the foot of the bed beside Chris. "Shane, this man you have here is gorgeous. Look at him, he's a hunk. I'll bet
you
shot him just so he couldn't get away. He looks just like a guardian angel ought to look." Stefan was embarrassed, but Thelma would not be stopped. "You're a real dish, Krieger. I want to hear all about you. But first, here's the money you asked for, Shane." She opened her voluminous purse and withdrew a thick wad of hundred-dollar bills.
    Examining the money, Laura said, "Thelma, I asked you for four thousand. There's at least twice that here."
    "Ten or twelve thousand, I think." Thelma winked at Chris and said, "When my friends are on the lam, I
insist
they go first class."

    Thelma listened to the story, never expressing disbelief. Stefan was surprised by her open-mindedness, but she said, "Hey, once you've lived at Mcllroy Home and Caswell Hall, the universe holds no more surprises. Time travelers from 1944? Pah! At Mcllroy I could've shown you a woman as big as a sofa, who wore clothes made of bad upholstery fabric, and who was paid a handsome civil-service wage to treat orphaned children like vermin. Now
there
is an amazement." She was clearly affected by Stefan's origins, chilled and amazed by the trap they were in, but even under these circumstances she was Thelma Ackerson, always looking for the laugh in everything.
    At six o'clock she put in the stage teeth again and went up the street to get take-out from a Mexican restaurant. "When you're on the run from the law, you need beans in your belly, tough-guy food." She came back with rain-dampened bags of tacos, containers of enchiladas, two orders of nachos, burritos, and chimichangas. They spread the food out on the bottom half of the bed, and Thelma and Chris sat on the top half. Laura and Stefan sat in chairs at the foot of the bed.
    "Thelma," Laura said, "there's enough food here for ten."
    "Well, I figured that would feed us and the cockroaches. If we didn't have food for the cockroaches, they might get mean, might go outside and overturn my gardener's pickup. You
do
have cockroaches here, don't you? I mean, after all, a swell place