Lost in the Cosmos

received it.
    E ARTHSHIP: Help?
    PC3: If a C1 meets with disaster, falls into the pit of itself, and becomes a C2, it must become aware of its sickness and seek a remedy in order to be restored to the preternaturality of Cl. Well?
    E ARTHSHIP: Well what?
    PC3: Which are you?
    E ARTHSHIP: That is hard to say.
    PC3: Perhaps we can help you arrive at an answer. Would you answer a few questions?
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes.
    PC3: You say your civilization has five superpowers.
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes.
    PC3: Is there peace between you?
    E ARTHSHIP: There was when we left.
    PC3: Aren’t you in communication with Earth?
    E ARTHSHIP: We were until two years ago.
    PC3: Isn’t that strange?
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes.
    PC3: Then you have reason to believe something is wrong on Earth?
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes. (Quickly) Do you know anything?
    PC3: (evasively): Let’s get on with the questions. How many wars have you had in the last hundred earth-years?
    E ARTHSHIP: Big or little?
    PC3: Well, big.
    E ARTHSHIP: Two—that we know of. Do you know of a third?
    PC3: How many lives were terminated before their natural C2 deaths?
    E ARTHSHIP: Youmean how many were killed?
    PC3: Yes.
    E ARTHSHIP: Around a hundred million.
    PC3: Now you fear there might have been a third.
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes. Do you know?
    PC3: What is the size of your crew?
    E ARTHSHIP: Twelve in the beginning.
    PC3: How many of each sex?
    E ARTHSHIP: Six.
    PC3: How did you arrive at the sexual distribution?
    E ARTHSHIP: We felt that sexual needs must be taken into account, just like the needs for food, water, a stable environment, and so on. And though none of us has any prejudice against homosexuality, we were not yet sure enough of the dynamics of a homosexual group to take chances with the mission.
    PC3: Is there pair bonding among you?
    E ARTHSHIP: No.Ours was designed as a communal and transcultural group interaction. Through extensive prelaunch exercises, we discovered we could get beyond the usual cultural and sexual hang-ups.
    PC3: How has it worked?
    E ARTHSHIP: Among the nine survivors, very well until just recently.
    PC3: Nine survivors? What happened to the other three?
    E ARTHSHIP (after a silence) :They died.
    PC3: Were they killed?
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes.
    PC3: Were they men?
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes.
    PC3: Were they killed in quarrels over the women?
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes. How did you know?
    PC3: We’ve had some experience with C2s. How are things now?
    E ARTHSHIP: Fine. Each man has two women. We think we’ve made a valuable contribution to prolonged heterosexual group dynamics.
    PC3: What’s that?
    E ARTHSHIP: Men are less monogamous than women. Men are happier with more than one woman, and the women don’t seem to mind, once they’ve gotten past cultural hang-ups.
    PC3: Interesting. Now, you say you’re the second officer.
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes.
    PC3: Can I speak to the commander?
    E ARTHSHIP: I’m afraid not.
    PC3: You mean, the commander didn’t survive.
    E ARTHSHIP: He survived, but he’s, ah, ill.
    PC3: What’s wrong with him?
    E ARTHSHIP: He’s out of it. Flaked out. He sniffs coke and reads Rod McKuen and Richard Bach. He’s not functioning. We need to land. Request permission.
    PC3: Did you say two women are assigned to each man?
    E ARTHSHIP: Not assigned. That’s the way it worked out. At first.
    PC3: What happened? For example, what about the commander’s two women?
    E ARTHSHIP: They’re okay. When he lost interest, they turned to each other. They have a relationship.
    PC3: Who is the other officer?
    E ARTHSHIP: He’s the exec.
    PC3: What’s he doing?
    E ARTHSHIP: Screwing his brains out.
    PC3: What about you?
    E ARTHSHIP: I’m too damn busy flying this ship. Request—
    PC3: Then you’re in trouble.
    E ARTHSHIP: Yes. We have to land before we even consider returning.
    PC3: No, I mean your species is in trouble. You don’t even know whether you have a civilization, and the chances are you do not.
    E ARTHSHIP: That is correct.
    PC3: My question is this. Clearly, you are a C2. We need to know how you stand vis-à-vis your predicament, that is, knowledge of it and remedy for it. E.g., do you have such knowledge? Have you requested help? Has help arrived? Did you accept help?
    E ARTHSHIP: Help? What help? We don’t ask for help. We help ourselves. We are the triumphant emerging species on our planet, and though we are not as far advanced as you, we are not ashamed of our scientific and technological and artistic achievements. If we were not a tough, self-sufficient, inquisitive