Love is Always Write Anthology Bonus Volume

abruptly drew his hands back. "Don't, Trip. We have to be careful."
    Jacob sat back, glad that the dim moonlight wasn't enough to show his blush. "I wasn't... it was just supposed to be friendly. Anyway I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Not like you."
    Daniel snorted. "Right. The expert. You know, when I joined up, the examiner asked me if I liked girls. I said yeah, I like girls a lot. And I do. They're pretty and soft and smell nice." He dropped his voice again. "But they don't smell good . They don't make me want. I know what I am, seems like I always knew. But I'm no expert."
    Jacob said carefully, "There were a couple of guys in Basic who were pretty open about it, at least when they were well away from the shore patrol."
    "When I was there too. But you know they could only go just so far. A guy could camp it up, prance in wearing just a towel and preening, and the guys would whistle and catcall, say how he was hot stuff. It was okay as long as he was pretending to be playing around. But if they got the idea he was a real fairy, they'd make his life hell. And any kind of touching between two men, that was grounds for big trouble. Although I did hear sometimes about places you could go."
    "I wasn't close to being ready to touch a guy in Basic. I was too damned shocked and scared to think about doing anything then. But you already knew what you wanted and the guys were there. And yet you never, um, dated?"
    "I dated girls." Daniel tipped his head back and let his eyes droop to half-mast. He kept his voice barely above a whisper, a soft murmur that didn't carry far on the night air. "It was easier. Every time we went out into town there would be these girls hanging around. And a lot of them would flock around me. It was crazy."
    Jacob looked at Daniel's profile in the pale moonlight and thought the girls were really pretty sane from his point of view.
    "After a while I had a reputation as a ladies' man. If the guys got really pushy, ragging on me, I'd pick out the shyest pretty girl in the club and take her out. We'd have some fun, and then I'd take her home, maybe kiss for a while, and then I'd tell her about this girl back home I was being faithful to. I'd tell this girl how if I ever was going to stray it would have been with her, but she had to help me be strong. And I'd beg her not to tell anyone. Worked like a charm."
    "You never... just tried it anyway? With a girl?"
    "I couldn't. It was odd, being out with a gal. I'd watch her ass or her cheek and get hard and think 'this is it, I can do this.’ And then she'd laugh with that high voice or brush her tits on me and..." He shook his head.
    "And once training was over?"
    Daniel glanced around and said in a whisper, "I thought maybe. Maybe in Hawaii. The service club there had a room where you could sit and be around the guys, be quiet, listen to some records. It was supposed to be queer-central. But I didn't get up the nerve before the Japs hit. Afterward everyone was too busy and too sad. So I figured Frisco would be it. Go out with the fellows for a while and then sheer off and find someplace more friendly. But there was a gal flirting with me from the beginning, cute blonde with tits out to here." Daniel demonstrated with cupped hands. "So I did the same thing, took her out, had a good time, begged off to be honorable to the girl back home." His lip curled in self-disgust. "She wanted to do it anyway. She kept saying how my girl would never have to know, and it was unnatural to expect a guy to be celibate for years. She practically had her hand down my pants. But I couldn't go through with it."
    "I'm glad," Jacob said, and felt himself blush again.
    "Me too."
    For a long time they sat silently. The ship rose and fell under them with the pull and ebb of the water. The deck hummed with the odd asynchronous spin of her screws, offset enough to avoid the steady rhythm that would call the Jap subs to her. Men a dozen yards away on the deck snored or muttered, a low restless backdrop. And yet in their little sheltered corner, Jacob felt like they owned a private world.
    The clouds disappeared and the moonlight brightened. The waves got a little higher though, lifting the Gageway and then dropping her in a deep rocking motion. Daniel said, "We're headed for Australia."
    "I heard that. Have you ever been there?"
    "Nope. George says it's nice though. Some of the guys think we'll end up in Cid Harbour but George says Townsville and he's usually right."
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