Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 9

bathroom door slammed open and broke Sean out of his trance as Jase's laughter echoed in the hallway upstairs. Sean moved quietly and without thinking, away from that laugh, and back out of the door.
    He closed the door as quietly as possible and rounded the corner into the alleyway. He leaned his head against the side of the house, his pulse racing. What was he going to do? What had up to now seemed like the perfect setup, a senior year off-campus living with his best friend, was actually going to be hell. It was going to be sheer torture, because as long as Marcus and Jase were together, he couldn't tell Jase the truth about how he felt. He'd have to hide how he felt somehow, act normal, except, how the heck did he do that?
    Well, at least he'd figured out for sure that he was bi. His reaction to Jase's moans had pretty decisively answered that burning question.
    He was in love with his best friend. Fuck. He pounded his fist into the wooden siding.
    He had to get out of there.
    He couldn't go back in there and face them right now. He couldn't pretend he was fine and crack a beer and watch the game with them while they cuddled up together on the couch. Fuck that. He hurried back down the alley and out onto the street. Somehow he made it up the block to his car.
    Back on campus, he grabbed the first empty practice room he could find. He sat down at the piano and played until he forgot who he was. He played for hours, losing himself in Chopin, Debussy, Beethoven, and his favorite, Rachmaninoff. He banged on the piano, even broke out some Ben Folds Five and proceeded to play every happy song he could think of off the top of his head. He left his guitar in its case, knowing that any attempts he made at songwriting tonight would only result in some really sappy freaking songs, and he couldn't go there. Not tonight. Not after what happened.
    When he finally left, nearly five hours later, his head was pounding, his fingers were stiff and his shoulders aching. It was after ten, and he still didn't want to go home.
    Fortunately, Friday night in a college town meant that there were plenty of parties to hide at. He headed over to his friend Will's, where semi-weekly bonfire night was in full swing.
    Several people asked him to play his guitar, but he refused. Instead, he drank himself into a stupor. He ignored his friends and flirted outrageously with several girls, especially this girl Lisa from one of his theory classes, who kept following him around. She was a theater major. She was too skinny, but cute, with brown hair and a turned up nose, and for Sean she was a welcome distraction.
    By the time Jase and Marcus showed up, holding hands, the party had moved indoors to the makeshift "bar" in Will's basement, and Sean was already three sheets to the wind. He even managed to wave at Jase and plaster on a smile as he got up from his seat, and made his way up the basement steps.
    By the time he reached the top step, the room was spinning. He staggered into Will's empty den and fell back on the couch.
    That's where Lisa found him a few minutes later.
    When she pulled her top off, climbed on top of him and kissed him, he didn't pull away. As she moved to unbutton his pants, he closed his eyes, and tried to force the image of Jase and Marcus holding hands from his mind.
    CHAPTER 1
    Present
    The shades on the windows were still open. From Sean Taggert's front row seat, the world beyond them appeared as a sea of inky black.
    He was sitting at the edge of the bed, the phone still gripped in his hand. It was over. Lisa wasn't coming back.
    What a disaster. He'd always known it was only a matter of time. Lisa never wanted Cody, or him for that matter.
    Cody. His son wasn't even two, way too young to understand his "Mamma" was gone, never mind understanding why. What was this going to do to him? His chest felt constricted, as if his skin and muscles had shrunk, tightening over his lungs, making it difficult to breathe.
    Finally, he took a deep breath, and pushed himself up. He glanced over at the clock and, groaned when he saw the time. It was 3:19 a.m. Sleeping was pointless now. What Sean really wanted, was to crawl back into bed for a day or two, but that wasn't going to happen. He had to take care of Cody, end of story. Cody could be awake in only a few hours, and his day would be Sean's day.
    Bleary-eyed and yawning, Sean shuffled down the hallway and into the kitchen, phone still clutched in his hand. He flipped on the light above