Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 9

the edges of that wall he had built around his past, but the dread he felt wasn't a result of thinking about that past but thinking about the future he was trying to build with Michael. He needed to tell him. He wanted to tell him.
    He didn't think he could tell him everything. Not yet. But he wanted to give him something. He thought back to one of the quiet and somber late night conversations they had a few weeks ago. Cole could still hear the sadness in Michael's voice when he had told him, "Today's the anniversary of my father's death. It's been three years, and I still miss him every single day." Cole had lain in his bed, wrapped around his pillow, and listened as Michael unloaded his pain and grief. He trusted Cole with his fears and his anguish. It was time for Cole to trust Michael, to cut a hole in the solid wall around his soul, and allow him a peek inside.
    Cole rolled to face Michael. "The thing is, my parents disowned me when they found out I was gay. I was twenty years old, and a sophomore in college, and they stopped paying for everything, kicked me out of their house with nothing."
    "Cole, I—"
    "No. Wait. Let me finish or I might never. I knew. I knew what would happen if they found out, and I had fought so hard to hide myself from them and everyone around me. When I went to college, I felt like the noose around my neck had loosened a little. No one knew me or my parents. I opened up and got involved with someone." Cole took a deep breath. Years later and this was still the part that hurt the most. He had known what to expect from his father and his family. He had not been prepared for this betrayal.
    "His name was Brandon, and he was a junior. I loved him, or at least I thought I did at the time. Now I think maybe it was just that I could love myself when I was with him because I wasn't living a lie. Anyways, he was very open and honest about his lifestyle. He was president of the LGBT Alliance chapter at our school and often led protests and rallies. He started to resent the fact I wasn't completely out. He felt like a poser, I guess, dating a guy who wouldn't come out of the closet. So he made the choice for me, wrote a letter to my parents and included some photos. When I came home for Christmas break, my father was waiting for me."
    "God, Cole, I'm so sorry. What an asshole. You didn't deserve what he did to you. And your parents…. God. I'm sorry, baby." Michael's heart broke for him.
    Cole couldn't stand the look of pity he saw on Michael's face. He had made it and was stronger for it. He tried to make him understand. "Don't. The point is I made it. On my own terms. I had a few good friends at school who let me crash on their couches. I got the job at the bakery. I eventually got my own small place. I didn't have much. In fact, I still only had a couch to sleep on, but it was mine. So when I bought this place I had the couch built as a symbol, really. I had made my life my own, and if any of my friends were ever down on their luck and needed a place to crash, I have a place for them. And one that is just as fucking big and comfortable as a real bed because they would deserve nothing less."
    The look on Michael's face was now one of awe. "You're amazing, Cole. You know that. You're so strong and smart and kind. I'm so damn proud to be with you." He wrapped his arms around Cole and pressed their bodies together. He kissed Cole's lips, his cheeks, his forehead. He leaned in and placed his mouth against his ear. "But I still want to kick that guy's ass. I would never do something like that to you, Cole. Never."
    "I know that. I do." And Cole realized he really meant it. He trusted Michael. "Now, let's watch The Dude bowl some strikes."
    ****
    Cole's alarm clock was shrieking. It was five-thirty on Thursday morning, and he had to be at the bakery. One of his best customers was getting married to the man of his dreams on Saturday, and he had specifically requested Cole make his cake from start to finish. Cole went to roll over to slap the snooze button and was stopped by a heavy weight on his chest. Michael.
    Cole could hardly believe how quickly the last few days had flown by. They spent all day Sunday lazily touring around Camden. Cole took Michael to his favorite places to eat and shop. The city itself was not very impressive, but Cole lived in one of the nicest areas where re-development efforts had been focused over the last few years.
    The real draw to living in Camden was its proximity to