Me Before You: A Novel

bike (Patrick wouldn’t let me anywhere near his racing demon) and it had no gears so I was frequently left tailing him.
    He glanced behind, and slowed his pace a fraction so that I could draw level. ‘So why can’t they get an agency person in?’ he said.
    ‘An agency person?’
    ‘To come to the Traynors’ house. I mean, if you’re there for six months you must be entitled to a holiday.’
    ‘It’s not that simple.’
    ‘I don’t see why not. You started work there knowing nothing, after all.’
    I held my breath. This was quite hard given that I was completely breathless from cycling. ‘Because he needs to go on a trip.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘He needs to go on a trip. So they need me and Nathan there to help him.’
    ‘Nathan? Who’s Nathan?’
    ‘His medical carer. The guy you met when Will came to Mum’s.’
    I could see Patrick thinking about this. He wiped sweat from his eyes.
    ‘And before you ask,’ I added, ‘no, I am not having an affair with Nathan.’
    He slowed, and glanced down at the tarmac, until he was practically jogging on the spot. ‘What is this, Lou? Because … because it seems to me that there is a line being blurred here between what is work and what is … ’ he shrugged, ‘… normal.’
    ‘It’s not a normal job. You know that.’
    ‘But Will Traynor seems to take priority over everything these days.’
    ‘Oh, and this doesn’t?’ I took my hand off the handlebars, and gestured towards his shifting feet.
    ‘That’s different. He calls, you come running.’
    ‘And you go running, I come running.’ I tried to smile.
    ‘Very funny.’ He turned away.
    ‘It’s six months, Pat. Six months. You were the one who thought I should take this job, after all. You can’t have a go at me for taking it seriously.’
    ‘I don’t think … I don’t think it’s about the job … I just … I think there’s something you’re not telling me.’
    I hesitated, just a moment too long. ‘That’s not true.’
    ‘But you won’t come to the Viking.’
    ‘I’ve told you, I –’
    He shook his head slightly, as if he couldn’t hear me properly. Then he began to run down the road, away from me. I could see from the set of his back how angry he was.
    ‘Oh, come on, Patrick. Can’t we just stop for a minute and discuss this?’
    His tone was mulish. ‘No. It will throw out my time.’
    ‘Then let’s stop the clock. Just for five minutes.’
    ‘No. I have to do it in real conditions.’
    He began to run faster, as if he had gained a new momentum.
    ‘Patrick?’ I said, struggling suddenly to keep up with him. My feet slipped on the pedals, and I cursed, kicking a pedal back to try and set off again. ‘Patrick? Patrick!’
    I stared at the back of his head and the words were out of my mouth almost before I knew what I was saying. ‘Okay. Will wants to die. He wants to commit suicide. And this trip is my last attempt to change his mind.’
    Patrick’s stride shortened and then slowed. He stopped on the road ahead, his back straight, still facing away from me. He turned slowly. He had finally stopped jogging.
    ‘Say that again.’
    ‘He wants to go to Dignitas. In August. I’m trying to change his mind. This is the last chance I have.’
    He was staring at me like he didn’t know quite whether to believe me.
    ‘I know it sounds mad. But I have to change his mind. So … so I can’t come to the Viking.’
    ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’
    ‘I had to promise his family I wouldn’t tell anyone. It would be awful for them if it got out. Awful. Look, even he doesn’t know I know. It’s all been … tricky. I’m sorry.’ I reached out a hand to him. ‘I would have told you if I could.’
    He didn’t answer. He looked crushed, as if I had done something terrible. There was a faint frown on his face, and he swallowed twice, hard.
    ‘Pat –’
    ‘No. Just … I just need to run now, Lou. By myself.’ He ran a hand across his hair. ‘Okay?’
    I swallowed. ‘Okay.’
    He looked for a moment as if he had forgotten why we were even out there. Then he struck off again, and I watched him disappear on the road ahead of me, his head facing resolutely ahead, his legs eating up the road beneath him.
    I had put the request out on the day after we returned from the wedding.
Can anyone tell me a good place to go where quadriplegics can have adventures? I am looking for things that an able-bodied person might be able to do, things that