Motor Mouth

keeping me here because you’re a sicko. Not my fault that you turned into a dried-up old hag and Oscar dumped you, sweetie pie.”
    Suzanne lunged at Ray, and we all jumped on her and dragged her back from the bathroom.
    “Not a good idea to wrestle with him,” I told her. “I need him to be alive and coherent so he can set Rodriguez and Lucca up as murder suspects.” I looked at Ray. “You’re still going to do that, right?”
    “Sure,” Ray said. Sullen but hopeful.
    “Unfortunately, Rodriguez and Lucca have disappeared and might be dead, so you’ll have to work that into your plan,” I told him.
    I looked over at Suzanne. “Do you mind keeping him here awhile longer? He’s probably safer here than out on the street where Darth Vader might run into him.”
    “Sure. We’re having a good time together. And I know it seems crass to bring this up, but I want the circuit board. It belongs to Huevo Enterprises.”
    Rosa, Felicia, and I cut our eyes to Beans.
    “He ate it,” I said.
    “I put it down for only one minute,” Felicia said. “And he did a big lick on the table, and the little thingy was gone. And now we’re waiting for him to make poopie.”
    Suzanne went dead still. “Are you serious?”
    “Yes,” we all said.
    She stood with her hands slack at her sides and her face expressionless. “Let me get this straight. We’re waiting for that dog to shit out my billion-dollar circuit board.”
    “Yes,” we all said.
    “This is priceless,” Suzanne said. “I’ve been keeping Ray here for two days because the true story he was telling me was too insane to be believable, and now it turns out a Saint Bernard ate the circuit board. Is there anything else I should know?”
    “Miranda is holding Hooker hostage for the circuit board. And there’s another man missing. A friend of mine who is also involved. Jefferson Davis Warner.”
    “Those guys got Gobbles?” Felicia said. “I didn’t know that. That’s terrible. He’s such a sweetie. I bet he’s scared.”
    “Ray knows where he is,” I told everybody. “Don’t you, Ray?”
    “We had him on the boat with us. And then we moved him to the car,” Ray said. “Rodriguez was keeping him close. He had him in the trunk.”
    “He’s not on the boat, and he’s not in the car,” I said.
    “Then I don’t know where he is,” Ray said. “You have to ask Rodriguez.”
    My phone buzzed, and I looked at the readout. Skippy.
    “Sorry,” Skippy said. “I went to a bunch of different sources, but no properties turned up. Has the dog pooped yet?”
    “No.”
    “I got an actor lined up, and if you don’t get too close, he could be Hooker. All he has to do is get in the car and follow the guy in front of him at parade speed. We might be okay as long as he doesn’t have to talk. If he opens his mouth, I’m fucked.”
    The line went dead, and I put my phone back in my pocket. I was between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to give the circuit board to Suzanne and her kids. I really did. But more than that…I wanted Hooker safe.
    “I know that circuit board belongs to you,” I said to Suzanne, “but I can’t sacrifice Hooker for it.”
    Ray had been sitting on the toilet lid, taking it all in. “If you cut me in, I can help,” he said. “I can talk to Miranda. I can make a deal so everyone benefits…even Hooker.”
    “Eat dirt and die,” Suzanne said. And she closed and locked the bathroom door.
    We followed Suzanne out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
    “If I let him go, he’ll kill me,” Suzanne said. “Just like he killed Oscar. And I
know
he killed Oscar. I have spies everywhere, listening at doors, reading memos before they get shredded. Ray decided to stage a coup, and Rodriguez was the designated hit man. Rodriguez grabbed the wrong chip because he’d just drilled Oscar and his slut girlfriend, and he was running late. Rodriguez had Oscar packaged up and in the back of his car when he stopped off at the hotel to get the chip. Rodriguez was in a rush and not paying attention.”
    “What are you going to do with the guy in the bathroom?” Rosa wanted to know.
    “I don’t know,” Suzanne said. “I brought him here because I was told Miranda was coming into town to personally pick up the prototype. I thought I might be able to get the chip ahead of Miranda and use it as leverage to keep Ray in line. After I had Ray here awhile, I realized nothing is going to keep Ray in line. Ray is insane. He feels no