Nightside 08 - The Unnatural Inquirer

her back and point her breasts at me. Good tactics. Good legs. Really good breasts.
    “Hey,” she said, amused. “My face is up here.”
    “So it is,” I said. “What exactly is it you do here, Bettie?”
    “I am a demon girl reporter, darling. And I do mean demon. Daddy was a Rolling Stone, on one of their Nightside tours, Mummy was a slut lust demon groupie. Somebody ought to have known better, but here I am. Large as life, and twice as talented. I really am a first-class journalist, and you’re going to need me on this case, darling. So, just lie back and enjoy it.”
    “She’s right,” Scoop said heavily. He sat down behind his desk again, and I lowered myself back onto the unwelcoming visitor’s chair. Scoop laced his fingers together and looked at me steadily. “Bettie’s accompanying you is part of the deal, Mr. Taylor. If we’ve got to spend the kind of money it’s going to take to get you to do this for us, we are determined to get our money’s worth. And the best way to recoup some of the expense is by running our very own exclusive story of how you did it.”
    “On the case with John Taylor!” said Bettie. “An intimate account of our time together, traversing the darkest depths of the Nightside! Honestly, sweetie, we won’t be able to print copies fast enough. The bouncer might as well be outside throwing them in. No-one’s ever had a story like this.”
    “No,” I said.
    She slid forward off the desk and leaned over me, so close I could feel her breath on my face. “You’re going to need me on this case, darling. Really you are. And I can be very helpful.”
    I stood up, and she retreated a little. “Put the brakes on, darling,” I said. “I’m spoken for.”
    “Ah, yes!” said Bettie, clapping her dainty little hands together and giving me a knowing look. “We know all about that! The infamous John Taylor and the sexy psycho killer Shotgun Suzie! We’re already taking odds as to which of you will end up killing the other. Do tell us all about her, John; what’s Suzie really like? Is she still sexy when the bedroom door is shut? What do you talk about in those special little moments? Inquiring minds are positively panting to know all the sordid little details!”
    “Let them pant,” I said, and something in my voice made her fall back a step. “Suzie is a very private, very dangerous person.”
    “Why don’t I explain exactly what the case entails,” Scoop said quickly. I sat down in my chair again, and Bettie leaned against the side of the desk, facing me, her arms folded under her impressive bosom. I concentrated on Scoop.
    “There has been a broadcast from the Afterlife,” Scoop said bluntly. “And the broadcast has been intercepted. It turned up on someone’s television set, quite out of the blue with no warning; and the possessor of that television set, one Pen Donavon, was sharp enough to record it, and burn it onto a DVD. He then approached us, offering the Afterlife Recording for sale; and we bought exclusive rights to it for one hell of a lot of money.”
    “An intercepted broadcast?” I said. “From Heaven, or Hell?”
    “Who knows?” said Scoop. “For that matter, who cares? This is actual information, from the Great Beyond! Our readers will eat this up with spoons.”
    “Am I to understand you haven’t actually seen what’s on this DVD yet?” I said.
    “Not a glimpse,” Scoop said cheerfully.
    “It could be a fake,” I said. “Or it could be a broadcast from some other world or dimension.”
    “Doesn’t matter,” said Scoop. “We own it. We want it. But unfortunately, Donavon has disappeared. He was on his way to us, with the DVD, in return for the very generous cheque we had waiting, but he never got here. We want you to find it, and him, for us. We have to have that Recording! We’ve been trailing it all week, for its appearance in the Sunday edition! If someone else gets their hands on it, and pips us to the post…And it’s not just the story; do you have any idea how much we could make selling copies of the DVD?”
    I was still unconvinced, despite his enthusiasm. “This isn’t going to be like that transmission from the future that someone taped off their television back in the nineties, is it? Suzie bought a copy of the tape off eBay, and when we played it, it was only a guy in a futuristic outfit, showing his bare arse to the camera and giggling a lot.”
    Scoop leaned forward over his desk, doing his best to fix me