One Door From Heaven

throughout the trip maintained a much higher average speed than his lumbering bus.
        Nevertheless…
        At first opportunity, she swung the car around and returned to the Teelroy farm. Entering the driveway, passing the rusting hulk of the overturned tractor, she slowed and took a closer look. She half expected to glimpse the sun-bleached bones of the bramble-strangled driver that she had previously imagined, because on second view the farm appeared to be an even grimmer place-and stranger-than it had been at first sight.
        If Norman Bates, psycho of psychos, having escaped from the asylum and fearing that an immediate return to the motel business might make him easier for the police to find, decided to apply his knowledge of the hospitality industry to a simple bed-and-breakfast, this old house would have delighted him when he found it. Sun, rain, snow, and wind were the only painters these walls had seen in twenty years. Teelroy had done barely enough maintenance to spare himself from grisly death in a spontaneous structural implosion.
        Between the Camaro and the porch steps, Micky crossed what remained of a front lawn: bare dirt and scraggly clumps of bunch-grass. The wooden steps popped and creaked. The porch floor groaned.
        After knocking, she stepped back a few feet. By standing too close to the threshold, she seemed to be inviting a Jack the Ripper moment. The air could not have been stiller if the entire farm had been covered by a bell jar.
        The bruised and swollen sky looked angry, as though momentarily it would take hard revenge on everything below it.
        Micky didn't hear anyone approaching the door, but abruptly it was yanked inward. Into the doorway hove a formidable bulk that smelled rather like sour milk, had a face as round and as red as a party balloon, and wore a beard so bristly that it looked less like hair than like tumbleweed. Bib overalls and a short-sleeve white T-shirt suggested this was a person standing before her, but the impression could be confirmed only by what she saw above a squash-shaped nose aglow and webbed with burst capillaries. Between that nose and a head as utterly hairless as a tomato, two fat-swaddled brown eyes confirmed his humanity, for they were filled nearly to overflowing with suspicion, misery, hope, and need.
        "Mr. Teelroy?" she asked.
        "Yes-who else?-nobody here but me." From out of that bulk and beard and bad body odor had come a voice as sweet as a choirboy's.
        "You're the Leonard Teelroy who had the close encounter?"
        "What outfit are you from?" he asked pleasantly.
        "Outfit?"
        He looked her over from head to foot and back up again. "Real people don't look as good as you, missy. You're dressed down, tryin' to hide it, but you've got Hollywood written all over you."
        "Hollywood? I'm afraid I don't follow you."
        He peered past her at the Camaro in the driveway. "The junk heap's a nice touch."
        "It's not a touch. It's my car."
        "People like me are born to cars like that. Someone looks as actress-pretty as you-she's horn with a Mercedes key in one hand."
        He wasn't gruff or argumentative. But he had his opinions and, in spite of his dulcet tones, an attitude.
        He seemed to be expecting someone else. Because he appeared to have mistaken her for that person, she tried to start over.
        "Mr. Teelroy, I've just come to hear about your UFO experience and to ask-"
        "Of course you've come to ask, because it's one of the great stories ever. It's a blockbuster, what happened to me. And I'm willin' to give you everythin' you need-after the deal is made."
        "Deal?"
        "But I expect honesty from anyone I do business with. You should have driven up in your real Mercedes, wearin' your real clothes, and straight out told me what studio or network you're with. You haven't even told me your own name."
        Now she understood. He believed his UFO experience would be the next Spielberg epic, with Mel Gibson in the Leonard Teelroy role.
        She didn't have any interest in his close encounter; however, she saw a way to use his misapprehension to get the information that she really needed. "You're a shrewd man, Mr. Teelroy."
        He beamed and seemed to swell in response to this compliment. His unnaturally red complexion brightened further, as boilers always brighten in cartoons just prior to exploding. "I