One Hundred Names (Special Edition)

how about a selfish woman whose best friend is sick and she wouldn’t visit her?’
    ‘But you’re here now and I’m happy to see you.’
    Kitty swallowed. ‘You haven’t mentioned anything about it.’
    ‘About what?’
    ‘You know what.’
    ‘I didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it.’
    ‘I don’t really.’
    ‘Well, then.’
    They sat in silence.
    ‘I’m being torn apart in the newspapers, the radio, everywhere,’ Kitty said, bringing it up anyway.
    ‘I haven’t seen any papers.’
    Kitty ignored the pile of papers on the windowsill. ‘Everywhere I go, all week, everyone is looking at me, pointing, whispering as if I’m the scarlet woman.’
    ‘That is the price of being in the limelight. You are a TV star now.’
    ‘I’m not a TV star, I’m an idiot who made a fool of herself on TV. There’s a distinct difference.’
    Constance shrugged again as if it wasn’t a big deal.
    ‘You never wanted me to work on the show in the first place. Why don’t you just say “I told you so” and get it over with?’
    ‘They are not words that I use. They do nothing productive.’
    Kitty removed her hand from Constance’s and asked quietly, ‘Do I still have a job?’
    ‘Haven’t you spoken to Pete?’ She looked angry with her duty editor.
    ‘I have. But I need to hear it from you. It’s more important that I hear it from you.’
    ‘
Etcetera
’s stance on hiring you as a reporter has not changed,’ Constance said firmly.
    ‘Thank you,’ Kitty whispered.
    ‘I supported you doing
Thirty Minutes
because I know that you’re a good reporter and you have it in you to be a great reporter. We all make mistakes, some bigger than others, but none of us is perfect. We use these times to become better reporters and, more importantly, better people. When you came to be interviewed by me ten years ago do you remember the story you tried to sell to me?’
    Kitty laughed and cringed. ‘No,’ she lied.
    ‘Of course you do. Well, if you won’t say it, I will. I asked you if you were to write a story for me then and there about absolutely anything, what would it be?’
    ‘We really don’t have to go through this again. I was there, remember?’ Kitty blushed.
    ‘And you said,’ Constance continued as though Kitty had never spoken, ‘that you had heard of a caterpillar that could not turn into a butterfly …’
    ‘Yes, yes, I know.’
    ‘And you would like to examine how it would feel to be denied such a beautiful thing. You would like to know how it feels for the caterpillar to watch other caterpillars transform while all the time knowing he would never have that opportunity. Our interview was on the day of a US presidential election, and on the day a cruise liner sank with four thousand five hundred people aboard. Of the twelve interviewees I saw that day, you were the only person who did not mention anything about politics, about the ship, or about wanting to spend a day with Nelson Mandela, for that matter. What concerned you most was this poor little caterpillar.’
    Kitty smiled. ‘Yeah, well, I was just out of college. I think I still had too much weed in my system.’
    ‘No,’ Constance whispered, reaching out for Kitty’s hand again. ‘You were the only person who truly told me in that interview that you weren’t afraid to fly, that in fact you were afraid that you wouldn’t.’
    Kitty swallowed hard, close to tears. She certainly hadn’t flown yet and was, she felt, further from it than ever.
    ‘Some people say that you shouldn’t operate from a place of fear,’ Constance went on, ‘but if there is no fear, how is there a challenge? Often that is when I’ve done my best work, because I have embraced the fear and challenged myself. I saw this young girl who was afraid she wouldn’t fly and I thought – a-ha – she is the girl for us. And that is what
Etcetera
is about. Sure, we cover politics but we cover the people behind the politics. We want them for their emotional journeys, not just so we can hear their policies but so we can hear the reason for their policies. What happened to make them believe in this, what happened to make them feel this way? Yes, we sometimes talk about diets, but not organic this and wholewheat that, but of
why
and
who
. We are all about people, about feeling, about emotions. We may sell fewer but we mean more, though that is merely my opinion, of course.
Etcetera
will continue to publish your stories, Kitty, as long as you are writing