One Last Thing Before I Go

hadn’t thought about it in years. Is that the same as forgetting? He guesses that, for all practical purposes, it is.
    “I don’t know why you stopped coming over,” Chuck continues, gathering steam. “Why you stopped returning my calls. I don’t know if it was something I said, or did, or didn’t do, but we never should have let it drag on like this. I’ve missed having a brother. I see my own boys playing . . .” His voice cracks a little, and Ruby, shaking the baby in her arms, comes up behind him to rub his back. They form a picture like that, Chuck seated, Ruby over his left shoulder, holding their new baby, like they’re being posed for a Christmas card. And looking at them, Silver can feel a familiar, inexplicable anger rising up in him.
    “Why is Daddy crying?” Zack says.
    “He’s not crying,” Ruby says. “He’s talking.”
    “No, he’s not. He’s crying. Look.”
    “You boys go play in the basement.”
    Ruby ushers the boys out of the dining room and then comes to stand behind her husband, doing this little dance to shake her baby back to sleep. She rocks on her heels, swaying left and right, and probably has no idea that she’s doing it.
    Chuck wipes his eyes and takes a deep breath, ready to bring it home. “I don’t want you to die,” he says. “I think maybe this aorta thing is like a wake-up call for you, a way for you to come back to all of us.”
    Silver can feel the weight of all the eyes in the room, which move as one across the table to land on him. He fervently hopes he’s not about to say what he’s thinking.
    “You’re an idiot,” he says.
    Shit.
    Ruby gasps. Chuck flinches like he would when they were kids and Silver would pull back like he was going to punch him. If he didn’t flinch, Silver would hit him.
    “And we’re off,” Casey says, under her breath.
    “I’m sorry,” Silver continues. “I know you’re being sincere, but I still want to hit you until you bleed for saying it, and I’m not really sure why. I think maybe it’s because you have everything I lost, a pretty wife, kids, a home . . . And part of it is because you’re so damn smug about it. I stopped coming over because of the way you always made sure to hold Ruby’s hand while I was there, and pat her ass, or kiss her when she brought in the brownies. I mean, it was a Duncan Hines mix, for fuck’s sake. And I don’t know if you were like that because the obvious shittiness of my life made you appreciate yours more, or if it was some subconscious way of throwing it in my face because I was always so much smarter than you—you had all those tutors—”
    “I had ADHD!” Chuck says hotly.
    “The thing is,” Silver continues, “I would always imagine, whenever I left your house, that you’d be up in your bedroom, lying next to Ruby, appreciating how good you had it compared to your loser brother—like I was this cautionary tale that made your life seem better. And after a while, I just couldn’t stand that anymore.”
    “You twisted fuck. I was trying to help you.”
    “I didn’t need your help.”
    “You needed somebody’s help, and you’d already shit all over everyone else.”
    “OK, honey,” Ruby says, her hand on his shoulder. “We’re getting off message here.”
    “Fuck the message,” Chuck says, getting to his feet. “I’m sorry that you took the fact that I love my wife so personally. What an asshole I’ve been.”
    “It’s not your fault.”
    “No shit, it’s not my fault.” He turns to their parents. “I’m sorry, I tried. But there’s no talking to him. There never was. I mean, for God’s sake, he still thinks he is a rock star.” He looks at Silver, shaking his head. “I do feel sorry for you. I pity you. You’ve pissed away everything good in your life because once upon a time you wrote a hit song.”
    “It was a bit more complicated than that,” Silver says.
    “Not by much.”
    Silver considers it for a moment. “No, not by much,” he agrees.
    Chuck heads for the door. “I have to get out of here.”
    “Don’t go,” Elaine says. “We’re eating.” She turns to Silver. “Apologize to him!”
    “I’m sorry I upset you,” Silver says.
    “Fuck you.”
    “Chuck!” Ruby says.
    “I’m going to take a walk,” he says, heading for the door. He stops to flash Silver one last baleful look. “You’re a dick, Silver.”
    “I know,” Silver says. “Where are you going?”
    Chuck looks at him, nonplussed. “I don’t know