Sandalwood Death: A Novel (Chinese Literature Today Book Series)

scholar.”
    “A wise comment, Excellency. In the Board of Punishments I am a dog.”
    Excellency Yuan laughed lustily at my remark.
    “Well spoken,” he said once he had finished laughing. “It takes a good man to humble himself! You are a dog in the Board of Punishments, and I am a dog at the Imperial Court.”
    “Your humble servant does not deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Your Excellency . . . gold-inlaid jade, while I am nothing but a cobblestone . . .”
    “Zhao Jia, how shall I thank you for helping me accomplish something so important?”
    “Your humble servant is a dog raised by the nation; Your Excellency is a pillar of the state, whom I am obliged to serve.”
    “I find nothing wrong in what you say, but I wish to reward you nonetheless.” He turned to his attendant. “See Grandma Zhao off to the capital with a hundred liang of silver.”
    I got down on my knees and thanked him with a resounding kowtow.
    “Your humble servant will never forget Excellency Yuan’s generosity,” I said, “but I cannot accept your gift of silver.”
    “Why is that?” he said coldly. “Is it too little?”
    “Your humble servant has never in his life received a hundred liang of silver,” I said after a second loud kowtow, “and I dare not take it now. By bestowing the honor of bringing me to Tianjin to carry out his orders, Excellency Yuan has enhanced my status in the Board of Punishments, and I fear that taking Excellency’s silver could shorten my allotted time on earth.
    Excellency Yuan grew pensive.
    “Grandma Zhao,” he said after a moment, “this was a difficult assignment.”
    Once again I responded first with a kowtow.
    “Excellency, I was thrilled to do it. I am indeed fortunate to have had the opportunity to put my talents to work for the Imperial Court.”
    “What would you say if I asked you to stay on as a member of my criminal affairs unit, Zhao Jia?”
    “I would not dare decline to be so favored by Your Excellency. I have worked in the Board of Punishments for more than forty years, and have put to death a total of nine hundred eighty-seven criminals, not counting those executions in which I assisted. I have been so favored by the nation that I should spare no effort to continue working until I am stopped by death or old age. But ever since the execution of Tan Sitong and his five fellow criminals, I have been bothered by a wrist that is sometimes so sore I cannot even use chopsticks. I have been hoping to return home and beg Your Excellency to seek permission from the Board of Punishments on my behalf.”
    He merely laughed grimly. I did not know what to make of that.
    “Excellency, your humble servant deserves death. I am a low-class nobody who is unworthy of inclusion in any of the lower nine trades. I am a dog if I leave and a dog if I stay, and I have no business troubling any of my superiors. And yet I can boldly assert that while I am a man of demeaned status, the work I perform is not, and as such I am a symbol of national power. We are a nation with a thousand laws, but in the end it is I who enforce them. My apprentices and I have no annual stipend and no monthly wage, and must rely upon the sale of our victims’ cured flesh as a medical restorative. I have accumulated no savings after more than forty years in the Board of Punishments. It is my hope that the Board will give me a settling-in allowance so that I will not have to wander the streets destitute. I venture to ask for fair treatment for my brethren in the profession by including executioners in the personnel ranks of the Board of Punishments with a monthly wage. I ask this not just for myself, but for all of us. As I see it, executioners will be indispensable for as long as the nation exists. This is a parlous age, with a host of criminals among official ranks and legions of robbers and bandits on the loose, the precise moment in time when skillful executioners are most in demand. With unforgivable audacity, I implore Excellency Yuan to grant this humble request.”
    I followed my bold statement with a series of resounding kowtows, then remained on my knees and waited with sly glimpses to see how he would react. He stroked his dark moustache, with the calm look of a man deep in thought. Suddenly he laughed.
    “Grandma Zhao, there is more to you than a lethal hand. Your mouth is nearly as lethal!”
    “I deserve death, but I have spoken the truth. Only because I know that Excellency is a man of