Sea Breeze 04 - Just for Now

she loves you, and then the next thing I know, you two are broken up and she’s dating Jason. Just don’t seem right. Amanda isn’t fickle.”
    Why hadn’t she told him? Was she protecting me, or was she protecting her pride? I wanted to believe it was me she was protecting. She’d been the only person to ever protect me. To want to protect me.
    “She wised up. I wasn’t good enough for her. You said so yourself.”
    Marcus let out a heavy sigh. “I shouldn’t have said that. You’re my best friend. I love you like a brother. I just had seen you over the years go through girls faster than you did underwear, and I didn’t want my little sister to be one of those girls. I didn’t want her hurt. You’re not a bad guy. You’re a great guy. You’re loyal to a fault. You can cheer up a whole damn room. You’ve always had my back. If you were in love with a girl, then she’d be one lucky woman.” He paused and turned his head to look at me. “But you never said you loved Amanda. I knew for you to be faithful, you had to be in love with her. Even after she claimed to love you, you never said you loved her.”
    I hadn’t told anyone how I felt about her. I was tired of keeping it to myself. Amanda didn’t want to hear it now. She’d never believe me, anyway. But I could tell Marcus.
    “I love her. I’ll love her until the day I die. No one else is ever going to take her place. It’s impossible. I don’t want to even try. The weeks I spent with her were the best ones of my life. Having her love me was amazing. But I screwed up. I always screw up. It’s what I’m good at.”
    Marcus stood back up and put his hand on my back. “No, it’s not what you’re good at. You’re good at a lot of things, but screwing up isn’t one of them. We all make mistakes. God knows I did with Low back when I found out about her sister and my dad. But when we find that one person who completes us, we don’t give up. No matter how bad we screwed up. We make it right.”
    I stood there looking out at the water as Marcus’s footsteps faded away. He had no idea what he was saying. If he knew I’d been screwing women for money while with his sister, he’d kill me. When he thought Willow had betrayed him, he’d reacted the way any man would. Amanda had done nothing but love me and trust me. What I’d done to her was so much worse.
Amanda
    “Do I need to be worried about my life being in danger?” Jason whispered as I led him to the room where he could wait while we rehearsed. Mom had football playing on the massive flat-screen and appetizers and drinks set out.
    “No. Why?” I asked.
    Jason laughed. “Either you are completely blind, or you’re just really good at ignoring things. But Preston just stormed out of this house after shooting me a death glare.”
    I stopped walking and looked back at the double doors that were standing open and led out onto the beach. “Preston went outside?”
    “Yeah. When we hugged. He saw it, and what could only be described as rage lit up his face before he tore out of here like a man being chased.”
    Really? He had seemed so uninterested in talking to me. I was still trying to deal with the fact that I annoyed him now. My presence was something he truly despised.
    “I don’t think he left because of you. He can’t stand to be near me. He probably left because he was afraid I’d try to talk to him again. This weekend is going to be oh so much fun. I have to walk down the aisle with him. Sit by him at the reception, and we both have to make toasts.”
    Jason reached out, took my hand, and squeezed it. “Amanda, that guy doesn’t dislike you. I don’t know what he has said to you, but I can promise you what I just saw was not disinterest or annoyance. He was ready to take me apart for touching you. I know guys. I am one. Trust me.”
    I wanted to believe him. I really did, but it was hard. I knew Preston well, and I could see the blank, empty emotion in his eyes when he looked at me. I was dead to him. I couldn’t let myself hope for anything more. It already hurt too much. I didn’t need to add to the pain. Not if I was going to find a way to move on from this and live again.
    “I’d like to, but I can’t. I know him too well.” I walked over to the table. “You can get anything you like to drink here, or snacks are over there. I hope you like SEC football, because that’s all we watch around here. The other teams aren’t really important in the grand scheme