Shirley

no longer the same man; or, at any rate, the same heart did not beat in his breast. Rude disappointment! sharp cross! At first the eager girl would not believe in the change, though she saw and felt it. It was difficult to withdraw her hand from his, till he had bestowed at least something like a kind pressure; it was difficult to turn her eyes from his eyes, till his looks had expressed something more and fonder than that cool welcome.
    A lover masculine so disappointed can speak and urge explanation; a lover feminine can say nothing: if she did, the result would be shame and anguish, inward remorse for self-treachery. Nature would brand such demonstration as a rebellion against her instincts, and would vindictively repay it afterwards by the thunderbolt of self-contempt smiting suddenly in secret. Take the matter as you find it: ask no questions; utter no remonstrances: it is your best wisdom. You expected bread, and you have got a stone; break your teeth on it, and don't shriek because the nerves are martyrized: do not doubt that your mental stomach – if you have such a thing – is strong as an ostrich's – the stone will digest. You held out your hand for an egg, and fate put into it a scorpion. Show no consternation: close your fingers firmly upon the gift; let it sting through your palm. Never mind: in time, after your hand and arm have swelled and quivered long with torture, the squeezed scorpion will die, and you will have learned the great lesson how to endure without a sob. For the whole remnant of your life, if you survive the test – some, it is said, die under it – you will be stronger, wiser, less sensitive. This you are not aware of, perhaps, at the time, and so cannot borrow courage of that hope. Nature, however, as has been intimated, is an excellent friend in such cases; sealing the lips, interdicting utterance, commanding a placid dissimulation: a dissimulation often wearing an easy and gay mien at first, settling down to sorrow and paleness in time, then passing away and leaving a convenient stoicism, not the less fortifying because it is half-bitter.
    Half-bitter! Is that wrong? No – it should be bitter: bitterness is strength – it is a tonic. Sweet mild force following acute suffering, you find nowhere: to talk of it is delusion. There may be apathetic exhaustion after the rack; if energy remains, it will be rather a dangerous energy – deadly when confronted with injustice.
    Who has read the ballad of »Puir Mary Lee?« – that old Scotch ballad, written I know not in what generation nor by what hand. Mary had been ill-used – probably in being made to believe that truth which was falsehood: she is not complaining, but she is sitting alone in the snow-storm, and you hear her thoughts. They are not the thoughts of a model-heroine under her circumstances, but they are those of a deeply-feeling, strongly-resentful peasant-girl. Anguish has driven her from the ingle-nook of home, to the white-shrouded and icy hills: crouched under the »cauld drift,« she recalls every image of horror, – »the yellow-wymed ask,« »the hairy adder,« »the auld moon-bowing tyke,« »the ghaist at e'en,« »the sour bullister,« »the milk on the taed's back:« she hates these, but »waur she hates Robin-a-Ree!«
     
    »Oh! ance I lived happily by yon bonny burn –
    The warld was in love wi' me;
    But now I maun sit 'neath the cauld drift and mourn,
    And curse black Robin-a-Ree!
     
    Then whudder awa' thou bitter biting blast,
    And sough through the scrunty tree,
    And smoor me up in the snaw fu' fast,
    And ne'er let the sun me see!
     
    Oh, never melt awa, thou wreath o' snaw,
    That's sae kind in graving me;
    But hide me frae the scorn and guffaw
    O' villains like Robin-a-Ree!«
     
    But what has been said in the last page or two is not germane to Caroline Helstone's feelings, or to the state of things between her and Robert Moore. Robert had done her no wrong: he had told her no lie; it was she that was to blame, if any one was: what bitterness her mind distilled should and would be poured on her own head. She had loved without being asked to love, – a natural, sometimes an inevitable chance, but big with misery.
    Robert, indeed, had sometimes seemed to be fond of her – but why? Because she had made herself so pleasing to him, he could not, in spite of all his efforts, help testifying a state of feeling his judgment did not approve, nor his will sanction. He was about to withdraw decidedly from