Silence Of The Hams

Remember, I told you if you waited for it to go on sale you’d miss your chance?”
    Mel cleared his throat.
    “Well,“ Shelley huffed, “LeAnne was there, but I’m not sure about Charles.”
    Mel went back to the list. “I understand both Stonecipher and a man named Foster Hanlon were trying to get the deli shut down, and Hanlon was there as well.“
    “They came together,“ Jane said. “Well, at about the same time, anyway. But Hanlon was on Stonecipher’s side of the dispute.“
    “As far as we know,“ Shelley said ominously.
    “What do you mean?“ Mel asked.
    “Just that sometimes generals disagree with each other,“ Shelley said. “They were both almost professional troublemakers. Maybe Stonecipher took the lead and Hanlon didn’t like the way he handled it and blamed Stonecipher for losing the battle.“
    “Shelley, that’s crazy,“ Jane said. “Killing somebody over a zoning ordinance?“
    “Killing somebody over anything is crazy,“ Shelley reminded her. “And it could have been accidental. Suppose they got into a shouting match in the storage room and Hanlon got so furious he wanted to take a shot at Stonecipher and angrily shoved at the rack instead?”
    Jane made a so-so motion with her hand. “Maybe. Except I don’t think there was a shouting match. I was in the bathroom and heard the crash and I hadn’t heard yelling before that.“
    “Well, a hissing match, then,“ Shelley persisted.
    “You’d really like it to be Hanlon, huh?“ Jane said, smiling.
    “I wouldn’t mind. Remember when I was on that planning committee for the well-baby clinic and he made such a nasty flap?“
    “Only vaguely.“
    “He was certain that what he called ‘riffraff’ was going to descend on us like locusts. To hear him tell it, wild-eyed pinko liberals were going to hire buses to gather up mothers and children from the streets of inner-city Chicago and bring them out here for free treatment.“ Shelley paused. “Which sounded like a pretty good idea to me, actually. There was a strong odor of bigotry about the whole thing. Ugh. Nasty man,“ she said, shuddering elaborately.
    Jane thought for a minute. “You know, it would be killing two birds with one stone, so to speak, if he’d gotten mad enough at Stonecipher to kill him. What better place to do it than the deli? A murder at the deli might also hurt Conrad’s business enough to shut him down.“
    “I think we’re wandering pretty far afield here,“ Mel said. “Could we go back to the list, please?”
    They filled Mel in on Conrad, Sarah, and Grace. “I think Grace is a partner in the business,“ Shelley said. “She talked about ‘we’ and ‘us’ and ‘our’ business. I got the impression that she actually invested more than just her share of the house she and Sarah inherited. But it’s only my impression. It must have cost a fortune for the renovations, the equipment, the supplies, not to mention that there must have been legal fees to defend themselves against Stonecipher and Hanlon trying to close them down. But as far as making them suspects in his death—well, it’s the opposite, really. They’d won the battle.”
    Mel made a note and said, “Now, it seems that Stonecipher’s business associates were there, too. What about Emma Weyrich?“ Jane and Shelley told him a whole lot more than he wanted to know about the aerobics class.
    “But do you know anything about her relationship with her employer?“ he asked, cutting them off.
    Not a thing, they admitted.
    “But she came to the deli with him?“
    “She and Hanlon both followed him in the door,“ Jane said. “But I don’t know if they actually came together.“
    “And his law partner? Tony Belton?”
    “Tony Belton was there?“ Shelley asked. “I didn’t see him.“
    “He was there when I arrived,“ Mel said. “Do you know him?“
    “He’s the boys’ new soccer coach. We met him at the practice later in the afternoon,“ Shelley said. “But he’s a handsome man. I think we would have noticed him if he’d been at the deli when we were.“ At his questioning look, Shelley smiled and added, “Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I’m blind, does it?“
    “What about Rhonda Stonecipher, the deceased’s wife?“
    “I know her, but I didn’t see her there,“ Shelley said. “Was she?”
    Mel nodded. “What’s she like?”
    Jane answered. “Middle-aged, tummy-tucked, beauty-shopped, nail-saloned. And stingy as hell. I was on a