Sole Survivor

another explanation, something amazing but logical.”
        “Impossible,” she said stubbornly.
        “Impossible? Yeah, well… so was everything that happened in the cockpit with Captain Blane.”
        She held his gaze while she searched for an answer in the deep and orderly files of her mind. She was not able to find one.
        Instead, she said, “If you don't believe in anything-then what is it that you expect Rose to tell you? You say that what she tells them ‘lifts them up.’ Don't you imagine it's got to be something of a spiritual nature?”
        “Not necessarily.”
        “What else would it be?”
        “I don't know.”
        Repeating Joe's own words heavily coloured with exasperation, she said, “Something amazing but logical.”
        He looked away from her, toward the trees along the northern edge of the field, and he realized that in the fire-blasted aspen cluster was a sole survivor, reclothed in foliage. Instead of the characteristic smooth pale trunk, it had scaly black bark, which would provide a dazzling contrast when its leaves turned brilliant yellow in the autumn.
        “Something amazing but logical,” he agreed.
        Closer than ever, lightning laddered down the sky, and the boom of thunder descended rung to rung.
        “We better go,” Barbara said. “There's nothing more here, anyway.”
        Joe followed her down through the meadow, but he paused again at the rim of the impact crater.
        The few times that he had gone to meetings of The Compassionate Friends, he had heard other grieving parents speak of the Zero Point. The Zero Point was the instant of the child's death, from which every future event would be dated, the eye blink during which crushing loss reset your internal gauges to zero. It was the moment at which your shabby box of hopes and wants-which had once seemed to be such a fabulous chest of bright dreams-was turned on end and emptied into an abyss, leaving you with zero expectations. In a clock tick, the future was no longer a kingdom of possibility and wonder, but a yoke of obligation-and only the unattainable past offered a hospitable place to live.
        He had existed at the Zero Point for more than a year, with time receding from him in both directions, belonging to neither the days ahead nor those behind. It was as though he had been suspended in a tank of liquid nitrogen and lay deep in cryogenic slumber.
        Now he stood at another Zero Point, the physical one, where his wife and daughters had perished. He wanted so badly to have them back that the wanting tore like eagle's claws at his viscera. But at last he wanted something else as well: justice for them, justice which could not give meaning to their deaths but which might give meaning to his.
        He had to get all the way up from his cryogenic bed, shake the ice out of his bones and veins, and not lie down again until he had dug the truth out of the grave in which it had been buried. For his lost women, he would burn palaces, pull down empires, and waste the world if necessary for the truth to be found.
        And now he understood the difference between justice and mere vengeance: genuine justice would bring him no relief of his pain, no sense of triumph; it would only allow him to step out of the Zero Point and, with his task completed, die in peace.
        Down through the vaulted conifers came fluttering white wings of storm light, and again, and still more, as if the cracking sky were casting out a radiant multitude. Thunder and the rush of wind beat like pinions at Joe's ears, and by the many thousands, feathered shadows swooped and shuddered between the tree trunks and across the forest floor.
        Just as he and Barbara reached her Ford Explorer at the weedy end of the narrow dirt lane, a great fall of rain hissed and roared through the pines. They piled inside, their hair and faces jewelled, and her periwinkle-blue blouse was spattered with spots as dark as plum skin.
        They didn't encounter whatever had frightened the deer from cover, but Joe was pretty sure now that the culprit had been another animal. In the run to beat the rain, he had sensed only wild things crouching-not the far deadlier threat of men.
        Nevertheless, the crowding conifers seemed to provide ideal architecture for assassins. Secret bowers, blinds, ambushments, green-dark lairs.
        As Barbara started the Explorer and drove back the way they