Sullivans 06 - Let Me Be the One
a wink with Ryan only a wall away.
She smiled over at him, but it froze on her face as she took in his expression. Just as it had been earlier tonight, the expression in his dark eyes was intense before it was replaced with his easy smile.
“How does the usual sound?”
It took her longer than it should have to realize that he was talking about dinner. So many nights when they were kids, he’d come over to her parents’ garage with takeout. She’d learned not to eat much at dinner with her family so that she could share those meals with him. He worked out half the day, so he usually ate about ninety percent of the food, but she loved that he always made sure to bring over her favorite things anyway.
“Sounds great.”
“Go ahead and unpack and I’ll call for delivery.”
It wasn’t until he’d left the bedroom that she could finally take a full breath. She knew she was being ridiculous, that they were both adults now and could certainly handle being in close proximity again without things getting weird and complicated. But just because she knew that intellectually, it didn’t mean her heart—or her body—was getting the message.
How many fantasies had she had about him over the years? Starting at fifteen and going on from there, when the nights grew dark and lonely and she’d get an email from him that made her laugh. The longing she’d felt for him on those nights had been nearly unbearable.
Were the weird vibes from James the only reason she’d texted Ryan tonight? Yes, she’d felt threatened and out of options...but hadn’t she also wanted desperately to see Ryan? Had she grabbed onto James’s creepiness as an excuse to reach out and see if she was still important to him after all these years?
Angry with herself, she tossed her clothes into the beautiful dresser. She’d never been a particularly neat person—only with her art supplies did she bother with organization—but she knew she was taking messy to a whole new level.
Stop.
She needed to stop. Chill out. And enjoy being with the one person on earth she’d always completely adored.
Vicki made herself slowly take everything back out of the dresser and fold it neatly.
That was how she’d deal with everything from now on, she promised herself. Calmly, carefully, rationally, rather than following the impulses—and passions—that had always gotten her in so much trouble.
She took a deep breath and worked to center herself before going downstairs to have dinner with Ryan. Her entire body still tingled from the kiss he’d given her at the cocktail lounge, despite the fact that he’d simply been pretending to feel something for her as part of their act...not because he wanted her and needed her and couldn’t live without her.
If and when they had to pretend again, she needed to remember that a second or third kiss wouldn’t mean anything more than that first one.
Calm.
Careful.
Rational.
She could be all those things, if for no other reason than she needed to be all those things around Ryan.
She was just heading for the stairs when Ryan’s deep voice rose up from below.
“Felicia? Actually, that’s why I’m calling. Sorry, I’ve got to cancel. No, I can’t reschedule. It isn’t because of that. You were always great.”
Vicki hadn’t meant to listen in on his phone call, but he wasn’t exactly doing it in private. Obviously, he was breaking a future date with someone named Felicia, and, just as obviously, Felicia thought he was dumping her because he’d found someone better to tangle up the sheets with.
Little did Felicia know that the woman who had just moved into his house wasn’t ever going to get closer to Ryan’s sheets than the ones in the guest bedroom.
When she thought he was done with his call, she started down the stairs. She was too far to turn back by the time she heard him say, “Janey? Sorry to call so late about this, but I’ve got to cancel for this week. No, next week won’t work either. No, you shouldn’t think that. Of course we always had fun together.”
Vicki winced as Ryan extricated himself from another slightly ugly phone call...and from the ugly tug in her chest as she couldn’t help but wonder just how “great” his previous dates with Janey and Felicia had been.
* * *
After so many months of feeling like he was just going through the motions—and trying not to let anyone get wind of his growing discontent—the second he’d gotten Vicki’s text, he’d
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