Surviving High School

fail, even if it was only a matter of time, seeing him was worth it. She had to try.

CHAPTER TEN
    Over the course of the next week, Emily and Ben developed a routine. At ten thirty, she’d say good night to her parents, turn off her light, and lock her door. By ten thirty-five, he’d text her to say he’d arrived, and by ten forty, she’d be walking down the block, bundled up in a huge coat to keep out the cold November air, and there at the corner would be Ben, waiting in his car.
    As Emily approached, Ben would leave his engine running and jump out to give her a big hug. He’d wrap his arms around her fluffy coat and squeeze her so tight that she’d let out a joyful squeak.
    Ben took her to a new place every night: a bowling alley where everything was illuminated by black lights overhead so that whites and colors shone with an eerie luminescence; apet store downtown where a horde of puppies slept peacefully in the front window; a hill overlooking the city that provided a perfect view of the local amusement park’s weekly fireworks display.
    They’d talk for hours about everything and nothing, and sometimes, staring at the city lights, they’d just sit together in silence as Emily wondered if they were thinking the same thoughts. Instead of discovering some unpleasant facts about him, Emily only liked him more and more with each date, until she felt her crush deepening into something more like love, though, of course, they were still a long way from saying that word out loud.
    And every night, he’d get her home at midnight or two AM or later. He’d hug her good-bye, and she’d crawl into bed as her muscles ached and her mind drifted.
    As the days passed, her lack of sleep started catching up to her, and Emily found her eyelids growing heavy in class. There just weren’t enough hours in the day for school, swimming, and Ben, but which of the three was she supposed to give up?
    She was asking herself just that question, shuffling down the hall one day after school, when she came around a corner and ran directly into Cameron Clark.
    “Oh,” he said. It was the first time she’d seen him look truly uncomfortable. “Hey.”
    “Cameron,” she said. And then she drew a blank. What exactly was she supposed to say to her sister’s ex?
    “Listen, about the party,” he said. “I shouldn’t have mentioned your sister.”
    “No,” she said. “It’s okay. Samantha told me—”
    “Samantha told you what?” he asked.
    “That you and Sara, you know, dated.”
    Cameron snorted.
    “I wish you were right,” he said bitterly. “Sara and I—we trained together every day. Nobody pushed me like she did, and I think she would have said the same of me. She was one of—maybe the only girl at school I truly respected. Between sets, I used to tell her about all the girls I hooked up with. She’d just roll her eyes and give me a hard time.” Cameron smiled slightly.
    “I don’t understand,” said Emily.
    “Sara… was amazing. A champion, a competitor. But, you know. She wasn’t exactly popular. No one really thought she was hot. Except—I guess I did. I just didn’t know it at the time, how much she meant to me.”
    His voice was shaking. He rubbed the bridge of his nose.
    “I have these dreams where I go back—and instead of telling her about the other girls I dated, I ask her out instead. Maybe—maybe then things would have turned out differently—”
    “But I heard she had a boyfriend.”
    “I’ve heard that rumor,” said Cameron. “I told you before, though, Sara could definitely keep a secret. I told her everything. Yeah, everyone knows about the girls I’ve dated, but Sara actually knew about the ones who turned me down. She never told anyone. If she did have secrets of her own, sheguarded them pretty close.… And if she had a boyfriend, he was a lucky guy.”
    Emily finished changing into her swimsuit before the next Thursday’s practice. She was unsteady on her feet, and she had to brace herself against a locker as she straightened her swim cap.
    “What’s with the zombie impersonation?” asked Samantha from a few lockers over. “You do realize it’s not Halloween, right?”
    Emily hadn’t seen Samantha alone since she’d gotten that ride home from Ben’s party weeks ago, and since then, she’d been so focused on dating Ben that she hadn’t really made an effort to track down Samantha. Now the older girl’s words echoed in Emily’s head.
    “If your sister had time