Tales of the City 01 - Tales of the City

favorite places?”
    Peachy, thought Michael. We’ll just boogie on down to The Palms, sip Blue Moons in a window seat, and watch the Cycle Sluts wave leather dildos at the traffic cops.
    The Aspen was parked up on Leavenworth, near Green. Michael’s mother was out of breath by the time they reached Union. “I’ve never seen a street like that in my life, Mikey!”
    He squeezed her arm. taking sudden pleasure in her innocence. “It’s an amazing city, Mama.”
    Almost on cue, the nuns appeared.
    “Herb, look!”
    “Goddammit, Alice! Don’t point!”
    “Herb … they’re on roller skates!”
    “Goddamn if they aren’t! Mike, what the hell …?”
    Before their son could answer, the six white-coifed figures had rounded the corner as a unit, rocketing in the direction of the revelry on Polk Street.
    One of them bellowed at Michael.
    “Hey, Tolliver!”
    Michael waved half-heartedly.
    The nun gave a high sign, blew a kiss, then shouted: “Loved your jockey shorts!”

Trick or Treat in Suburbia
    M ARY ANN TUGGED ON HER DRIVER’S ARM. OH, Norman … beep, will you?”
    “Who is it?”
    “Michael and his parents. Mona’s roommate.”
    Norman tapped on the horn. Michael looked towards them as Mary Ann blew a kiss from the window of the Falcon. He smiled feebly and pretended to yank out a handful of hair. His parents were charging ahead, oblivious.
    “Poor baby!” said Mary Ann.
    “What’s the matter?”
    “Oh … it’s complicated.”
    “He’s queer, isn’t he?”
    “Gay, Norman.”
    Lexy poked her head over the seat. “What’s queer?”
    “Sit down,” said Norman.
    Mary Ann turned around and fussed with Lexy’s Wonder Woman cape. “You look so nice , Lexy.”
    The child bounced on the back seat. “Why don’t you have a costume?”
    “Well … I’m a grownup, Lexy.”
    The child shook her head vehemently and pointed out the window to three men dressed as high school majorettes. “Those grownups have costumes.” Norman chuckled, shaking his head. Mary Ann sighed. “How old did you say she was?”
    It was almost dark by the time they reached San Leandro. Norman parked the car in a pseudo-Spanish subdivision and opened the door for Lexy.
    The little girl bounced down the sidewalk with a mammoth plastic trick-or-treat bag.
    “Are you sure she’ll be all right?” asked Mary Ann.
    Norman nodded. “Her folks live over in the next block. I told them I’d … you know … let her get this out of her system.”
    “I hope they appreciate all this.”
    “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it.” He grinned sheepishly. “Rent-a-kid, you know.”
    “Yeah. It’s kinda nice, isn’t it?”
    “It isn’t boring for you?”
    “Not at all.”
    He looked at her solemnly for a moment, then squeezed her hand.
    “Norman?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Have you ever been married?”
    Silence.
    “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re so good with kids that …”
    “Roxanne and me were gonna have kids. That was the plan, anyway.”
    “Oh … she died?”
    Norman shook his head. “She ran off with a ceramic-tile salesman from Daly City. When I was in Nam.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    He shrugged. “That was a long time ago. About the time Lexy was born, in fact. I got over it.”
    She looked out the window, embarrassed by this new insight into his personality. Was Lexy his only link with a vanished dream? Had he given up all hope of building a home again?
    “Norman … I don’t see how anyone could leave you.”
    “It doesn’t matter.”
    “Of course it matters, Norman! You’re a gentle, kind, loving man, and no one should … Norman, you’ve got so much love to give someone.”
    His hands were fidgeting in his lap. He looked down at them. “Someone,” he repeated vacantly.
    He needed a sign from her. He was pleading for a sign.
    She was reaching up to touch his sad bear’s face when a hand on her shoulder made her yelp.
    Lexy was back.
    “Oh, Lexy …” Mary Ann laughed, somewhat relieved. “How did you do?”
    “A crummy apple.”
    “Well, apples are good. I’ll eat it if you don’t want it.”
    The child looked at her for a moment, then produced the apple and sunk her teeth into it defiantly.
    Norman shouted in horror. “Lexy … no!”
    Lexy grinned at him as the juice dribbled down her face. “It’s O.K.,” she said. “I already checked it for razor blades.”

Chip off the Old Block
    M ICHAEL ENDED UP TAKING HIS PARENTS TO THE Cliff House. It was the straightest place he