The Between Years

we could keep it in the family, you know?”

    She took Randy's arm. “Ohhh, I know it's hard, but every family has to go through it sooner or later. Just think, we're going to have to go through this place room by room, clear everything out and clean it from head to toe. Can you imagine? Some of the stuff in that attic's probably been up there since the 1800s!”

    Randy's stomach sank at the idea of them rooting through the house inch by inch. That meant that they would find Kenny's room instead of Nana's room (and tear it down anyway) and they would find the hole too.

    When she retreated downstairs, and the relatives eventually cleared out, Randy nearly collapsed, as the nervous tension had sucked up all of his energy. Dad didn't say anything about his behaviour, but he supposed he would hear about it soon enough. Randy wanted to relax, but he couldn't because he knew that they would return sooner than later.

    Finally, he collapsed onto the couch and closed his eyes. As much as he wanted to catch his second wind, he refused to let himself fall asleep. Though he'd been stressed enough for one night, he knew he could contact Carol and pray that she was in a good (and forgiving) mood.

    So he fished his Blackberry out of his pocket, switched it on and paused. Once he worked up the nerve, he dialed home and listened in agony while the phone rang.

    “ Hello?”

    “ Hello. Carol. Please don't hang up. Listen we need to talk.”

    First, she paused, and Randy heard her heavy breathing over the line. “Yeah, I guess we do. Now do you want to explain why you blew up on me like that the other night?

    “ I was wrong, Carol. Everything I did happened because I was totally wrong and acting stupidly. There, that's what you want to hear, right?”

    “ It's not what I want to hear, Randy, it's what I need to hear. I have to know you're serious.”

    “ Fine, I know. And you're right. The last few days have given me plenty of time to think, and I know I can't ever make anything right without you. So, I'm going to leave it up to you. I want us to be together again if you'll have me. Whatever you want, I'll do it.”

    “ I want us to get together and just talk. No obligations, no commitments, just the two of us speaking to each other like rational human beings.”

    “ I couldn't agree more,” Randy said. “But maybe we can do it someplace neutral?”

    “ What place did you have in mind?”

    “ Why not get together at that little place on Jarvis street? You know, just nice and casual?”

    “ As much as I hate the idea of people being able to overhear our dirty laundry, you're right. Let's do it.”

    “ So, what do you say? Tomorrow night at eight?

    “ Sounds good.”

    “ I miss you.”

    Then there was a break in the line. Finally, Carol said, “Miss you too. Bye.”

    “ Bye.”

    When he'd said, I miss you, what he'd really meant to say was I love you, but he couldn't bring himself to say that. Not yet anyway. They both knew that strong feelings for one another went without saying. And if he'd said it, he would have offered her an advantage that he still didn't want her to have.

    And what was with her hesitation? He wondered. The other night, she had been desperate for him to come home ready to plead for her man to return. Now she sounded like she could take him or leave him. If she was doing that to gain an edge, he would let her have it, because he had grown tired of thinking in those terms.

    But Kenny must have overheard the conversation and that's what mattered most to him. No longer could the boy rightly say that he didn't care about Carol and hadn't made enough effort to reconcile, because he had heard it with his own ears. Kenny still might try to kick up a fuss for not having solved their problems with the snap of his fingers. But Randy decided that he wouldn't accept any further guff from him because he was the boy's father and he must learn to respect his position if nothing else.

    When he met Carol, he decided he would need to let her take charge. He'd struggled to maintain the power he'd gained by leaving her, but he realized it had taken him nowhere. He was glad for the neutral site as well, because he couldn't fathom the idea of seeing his house, with Carol in it, and realizing that he might not live there anymore. The idea made him feel ready to split in two.

    He would do all of this because he loved her and it was his chance to bring his family back together. They could be as