The Book of Death (Bourbon Kid 4)

that lucky. He killed all
my customers again. The bastard.’
    ‘Was it because you poured piss
in his drink again?’
    Sanchez sat down and picked up
the newspaper to glance over the front page headlines. ‘I didn’t get a chance
to this time. I would have, but I’d just served it all to the werewolves.’
    The front page, as expected, ran
with the story of the latest massacre. The death toll looked like it might even
run into the thousands this time. Sanchez tutted to himself as he thought about
all the potential customers he must have lost.
    When he looked back up he
noticed that Flake looked different. She was still stood behind the counter,
wearing the same outfit, but she had now removed the white apron from the front
of her dress and had also let her hair down. It now hung freely around her
shoulders. She had beautiful long brown hair to match her eyes. Sanchez
couldn’t help thinking that Flake letting her hair down while working in an establishment
that served food seemed somewhat unhygienic. Nevertheless, he knew she cooked a
good sausage so he kept his thoughts to himself.
    He continued to read the
newspaper shaking his head occasionally as he came across details of the demise
of more potential customers. Eventually Flake wandered over with his mug of
coffee. As she set it down on the table, she spoke again.
    ‘You’re the only person I know
who’s brave enough to serve the Bourbon Kid a glass of piss,’ she said. After
saying it she seemed to suck in a deep intake of breath. It made her chest jut
out over the top of Sanchez’s newspaper as he lowered it to take a look at his
coffee. He couldn’t help but notice that she had a particularly fine pair of
boobs. For a few seconds he stared, gawping at them, before remembering she had
just spoken to him.
    ‘Brave?’ he said aloud, failing
to hide his confusion at being called such a thing. She was definitely on
drugs.
    He quickly recovered from the
unexpected compliment and attempted to act like he was downplaying it. ‘Yeah
well, some people are afraid of the Bourbon Kid,’ he shook his head, ‘…but I’m
not. I think he knows not to mess with me. I show no fear when he’s around.
Think he respects that.’
    ‘Wow. You should join the
police, Sanchez. They could use someone like you.’
    He shrugged. ‘Well, the town
would be a safer place. That’s for sure.’
    ‘So join up!’ Flake sounded
genuinely excited at the idea.
    ‘I would,’ said Sanchez, pretending
to read the newspaper while he took another sneaky glance at Flake’s chest.
‘Believe me, if they were recruiting, I’d be first in line. This town needs
someone to clean up the streets.’
    ‘Brilliant!’ her voice went up a
few octaves. She slammed a white paper flyer down on to the table by his
coffee. ‘Look, you can sign up today!’
    Sanchez stopped pretending to
read the paper and glanced down at the flyer. His eyes settled on the black
bold lettering at the centre of it.
    POLICE RECRUITING
TODAY
    ‘I’ll have my eggs sunny side up
today please,’ he said, hoping to change the subject.
    ‘Oh, okay,’ said Flake. ‘But
what do you think of the flyer?’
    ‘And I’d like my sausages
burned, please.’
    ‘Okay, no problem. So
what do you think of the…’
    ‘And an extra piece of bacon.’
    ‘Okay, anything else?’
    ‘That should do it.’
    Flake was very persistent, much
to Sanchez’s irritation. ‘See they’re allowing just about anyone to join the
police now,’ she said pointing at the flyer. ‘Just as a temporary measure,
until they can get some real cops in from out of town. So, you gonna sign up?’
    ‘Actually, did I mention I
wanted white toast?’
    ‘You always have white toast.’
    ‘Just making sure you hadn’t
forgotten.’
    Flake giggled. ‘You’re so
funny,’ she said, gazing at him with big hopeful brown eyes. ‘So are you going
to sign up or what?’
    Sanchez sighed. ‘I’d love to,’
he said. ‘But I’m not tall enough. I don’t meet the height restrictions.’
    ‘There are no height
restrictions,’ Flake said, her voice sounding more excited with every syllable.
    ‘I’m too old then.’
    ‘No age restrictions either.
Great, isn’t it?’
    ‘I have a criminal record.’
    ‘Doesn’t matter! Look, read the
whole flyer. They’re taking anyone. This is your big chance!’
    There was no doubt about it. She
had to be on drugs. No one should be that enthusiastic in the morning.
Particularly not when they were