The Crippled God

think nothing of this gift, this freedom we see as a cage, and in our rattling fury we wish that we were just like you .
    Raiser of empty buildings. Visionary of silent cities .
    But how many times could he remind Icarium of friendship? The precious comfort of familiar company? How many times could he fill once more all those empty rooms? My friend, my bottomless well. But should I tell you the truth, then you would take your own life .
    Is that so bad a thing? With all that you have done? Is it?
    And now you are threatened. And helpless. I feel this. I know it as truth. I fear that you will be awakened, in all your rage, and that this time there will be more than just humans within reach of your sword. This time there will be gods .
    Someone wants you, Icarium, to be their weapon .
    But … if I reach you first, I could awaken you to who you are. I could speak the truth of your history, friend. And when you set the point of the dagger to your chest, I could stand back. Do nothing. I could honour you with the one thing I still had – myself. I could be the witness to your one act of justice .
    I could talk you into killing yourself .
    Is it possible? That this is where friendship can take us?
    What would I do then?
    I would bury you. And weep over the stones. For my loss, as friends will do .
    The city was his genius – Mappo could see that truth in every line – but as he drew closer, squinting at the strangely flowing light and shadows in the facets of crystal, he saw evidence of occupation. His steps slowed.
    Broken husks of fruit, fragments of clothing, the musty smell of dried faeces.
    The sun was beginning to rise – had it been that far? He approached the nearest, broadest avenue. As he passed between two angular buildings, he froze at a flicker of movement – there, reflected from a facet projecting from the wall to his right. And as he stared, he saw it again.
    Children. Walking past .
    Yet no one was here – no one but me .
    They were wending their way out of the city – hundreds upon hundreds of children. Stick-thin limbs and bellies swollen with starvation. As he watched the procession, he saw not a single adult among them.
    Mappo walked on, catching glimpses in the crystals of their brief occupation, their squatting presence amidst palatial – if cold – splendour. Icarium, I begin to understand. And yet, cruellest joke of all, this was the one place you could never find again .
    Every time you said you felt close … this city was the place you sought. These crystal machines of memory. And the trail you hunted – it did not matter if we were on another continent, it did not matter if we were half a world away – that trail was one of remembering. Remembering this city .
    He went on, piecing together the more recent history, the army of children, and many times he caught sight of one girl, her mouth crusted with sores, her hair bleached of all colour. And huge eyes that seemed to somehow find his own – but that was impossible. She was long gone, with all the other children. She could not be—
    Ah! This is the one! Voicing songs of incantation – the banisher of the d’ivers. Opals gems shards – this is the child .
    He had come to a central square. She was there, looking out at him from a tilted spire of quartz. He walked until he stood in front of her, and her eyes tracked him all the way.
    ‘You are just a memory,’ Mappo said. ‘It is a function of the machine, to trap the life passing through it. You cannot be looking at me – no, someone has walked my path, someone has come to stand before you here.’ He swung round.
    Fifteen paces away, before the sealed door of a narrow structure, Mappo saw a boy, tall, clutching a bundled shape. Their eyes met.
    I am between them. That is all. They do not see me. They see each other .
    But the boy’s eyes pinned him like knife points. And he spoke. ‘Do not turn away.’
    Mappo staggered as if struck.
    Behind him, the girl said, ‘Icarias cannot hold us. The city is troubled.’
    He faced her again. A boy had come up beside her, in his scrawny arms a heap of rubbish. He studied the girl’s profile with open adoration. She blew flies from her lips.
    ‘Badalle.’ The tall boy’s voice drifted past him. ‘What did you dream?’
    The girl smiled. ‘No one wants us, Rutt. Not one – in their lives they won’t change a thing to help us. In their lives they make ever more ofus, but when they say they care about our future, they’re