The Fifth Elephant

which sort,” said Vimes absently. “Who else goes in there?”
    “Once every six days the chamber is inspected by myself and two guards. The last inspection was five days ago.”
    “Does anyone else go in there?” said Vimes. He noticed that Cheery had picked up a handful of the off-white sand that formed the floor of the Scone cave and was letting it run between her fingers.
    “Not lately. When the new king is crowned, of course, the Scone will often be brought forth for various ceremonial purposes.”
    “Do you only get that white sand in here?”
    “Yes. Is that important?”
    Vimes saw Cheery nod.
    “I’m not…sure,” he said. “Tell me, what intrinsic value has the Scone?”
    “Intrinsic? It’s priceless!”
    “I know it’s valuable as a symbol, but what is it’s value in itself ?”
    “Priceless!”
    “I’m trying to work out why a thief might want to steal it,” said Vimes, as patiently as he could.
    Cheery had lifted up the flat round stone and was looking underneath it. Vimes pursed his lips.
    “What is… she doing?” said Dee. The pronoun dripped with distaste.
    “Constable Littlebottom is looking for clues,” said Vimes. “They are what we call…signs, which may help us. It’s a skill.”
    “Would this letter speed your search?” said Dee. “It has writing on it. That is what we call…signs, which may help you.”
    Vimes looked at the proffered paper. It was brown, and quite stiff, and covered in runes.
    “I, er, can’t read those,” he said.
    “It’s a skill,” said Dee, solemnly.
    “I can, sir,” said Cheery. “Allow me?”
    She took the paper and read it.
    “Er…it appears to be a ransom note, sir. From…the Sons of Agi Hammerthief. They say they have the Scone and will…they say they’ll destroy it, sir.”
    “Where’s the money?” said Vimes.
    “No money, sir. They say Rhys must renounce all claim to be Low King.”
    “There are no other conditions,” said Dee. “The note turned up on my desk. But everyone puts paperwork on my desk these days.”
    “Who are the Sons of Agi Hammerthief?” said Vimes, looking at Dee. “And why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
    “We don’t know. It is just a made-up name. Some…malcontents, we assume. And I was told you would ask me questions.”
    “But this isn’t a real crime anymore, is it?” said Vimes. “This is politics. Why can’t the king just renounce all claim, get the Scone back, and then say he had his fingers crossed? If it’s done under duress—”
    “We take our ceremonies seriously, Your Excellency. If Rhys renounces the throne, he cannot change his mind the next day. If he allows the Scone to be destroyed, then the kingship has no legitimacy and there will—”
    “—be trouble,” said Vimes. And it’ll spread to Ankh-Morpork, he added to himself. At the moment it’s only riots.
    “Who’ll become king if he abdicates?”
    “Albrecht Albrechtson, as everyone knows.”
    “And that will be trouble, too,” said Vimes. “Civil war, from what I hear.”
    “The king says,” said Dee quietly, “that he intends to step down nevertheless. Better any king than chaos. Dwarfs do not like chaos.”
    “It’s going to be chaos either way, though,” said Vimes.
    “There have been rebellions against kings before. Dwarfdom survives. The crown continues. The lore abides. The Stone remains. There is…a sanity to come back to.”
    Oh, my gods, thought Vimes. Thousands of dwarfs die but that’s all right if a lump of rock survives. “I’m not a policeman here. What can I do?”
    “This hasn’t happened!” shrieked Dee, his nerve cracking. “But everyone knows foreigners from Ankh-Morpork do not mind their own business!”
    “Ah…you mean…given that you don’t want people to know about this…it would look bad if you appeared to be too excited…but you can’t be blamed if a stupid flatfoot pokes his nose into things…?”
    Dee waved his hands in the air. “This wasn’t my idea!”
    “Look, the security you have got here would disgrace a child’s piggy bank. I can think of two or three ways of getting the Scone out of here. What about the secret passage into this room?”
    “I know of no secret passage into this room!”
    “Oh, good . At least we’ve ruled out something . Go and wait by the boat. Corporal Littlebottom and I have to talk about some things.”
    Dee left reluctantly. Vimes waited until the dwarf was visible in the glow of the candles beyond the