The Folklore of Discworld

perfectly well that though he had conquered Afghanistan, reached the borders of Kashmir, and then marched down the Indus Valley to the sea, there remained many more kingdoms in Asia and India which he had not defeated. Come to that, there were large tracts of Europe itself, to the north and west of Greece, where his armies had never set foot. No way could he have thought there was nothing left for him to conquer.
    This medieval legend distorts an older and more subtle anecdote, which is to be found in the Ancient Greek author Plutarch – not in his full-scale Life of Alexander , but in an essay ‘On Contentment of the Mind’ in his collection of Moralia . Among the members of Alexander’s court was a philosopher named Anaxarchus, who by pure reasoning achieved a remarkably modern understanding of the nature of the multiverse. According to Plutarch, ‘Alexander wept when he heard Anaxarchus speak about the infinite number of worlds in the universe. One of Alexander’s friends asked him what was the matter, and he replied: “There are so many worlds, and I have not yet conquered even one .” ’
    Cohen is not alone in sharing the frustration of Carelinus and Alexander. So, in a different way, does the normally cheerful touristTwoflower, standing at the rim of the Disc and staring out at the stars.
    ‘Sometimes I think a man could wander across the disc all his life and not see all there is to see,’ said Twoflower. ‘And now it seems there are lots of other worlds as well. When I think I might die without seeing a hundredth of all there is to see it makes me feel,’ he paused, then added, ‘well, humble, I suppose. And very angry, of course.’ [ The Colour of Magic ]
    It is also intriguing to note how Fortune (Lady Luck) decided the fate of both Alexander and Cohen by a throw of the dice. Writers in Antiquity and in the Middle Ages argued about the influence of Fortune on the life of Alexander – he had been amazingly successful as a conqueror and ruler, yet he was only 33 when he unexpectedly died, struck down by sickness or, some believed, treacherously poisoned. So was Fortune on Alexander’s side or not? Did he owe his achievements to her, or to his own virtues? Did she turn against him in the end? In Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales , the Monk is certain that she did. He laments over the long list of great men who first enjoyed Fortune’s favours, but whom she then betrayed. One of them is Alexander, at one time ‘the heir of her honour’, till she destroyed him in a game of dice where she magically transformed his winning throw, a six, into the lowest possible one.
    O worthy, noble Alexander, O alas
    That you should ever fall in such a case!
    Poisoned by people of your own you were.
    Your six did Fortune change into an ace,
And yet she never wept for you one tear.
    In the Discworld, Cohen accepts a challenge to roll dice against the harsh god Fate ( not against Fortune, the Lady). Fate throws a six, and tells Cohen that to win he must throw a seven – thoughthe die is a perfectly normal one with only the regulation six sides.
    ‘So … seven and I win,’ said Cohen. ‘It comes down showin’ seven and I win, right?’
    ‘Yes. Of course,’ said Fate.
    ‘Sounds like a million-to-one chance to me,’ said Cohen.
    He tossed the die high in the air, and it slowed as it rose, tumbling glacially with a noise like the swish of windmill blades.
    It reached the top of its arc and began to fall.
    Cohen was staring fixedly at it, absolutely still. Then his sword was out of its scabbard and it whirled around in a complex curve. There was a snick and a green flash in the middle of the air and …
    … two halves of an ivory cube bounced across the table. One landed showing the six. The other landed showing the one. [ The Last Hero ]
    The situation is not without precedent on the Discworld (a five thrown by the Lady turns into a seven in The Colour of Magic ), or even in our own world, where it is said that King Olaf of Norway played dice against the King of Sweden for a disputed island, and won when his die accidentally split in half, one face showing the six and the other the one. Nevertheless Fate accuses Cohen of cheating, and would have reneged on the bargain if the Lady – whom none of the gods ever opposes – had not intervened on Cohen’s behalf. But Cohen does not appreciate the favour.
    ‘And who are you ?’ snapped Cohen, still red with rage.
    ‘I? I … am the million-to-one chance,’