The Fool's Run

expense.
    Weenie is her phone drop. If she was out of town, he’d have told me that he didn’t know where she was. Since he didn’t tell me that, she was in town, and he’d let her know I was coming. Whether or not she showed up was up to her.
     
    DULUTH IS a seaport built around the grain and iron ore docks. There were two big Russian freighters taking on wheat at the docks, and a long, low ore carrier was headed out.
    The Wee Blue Inn, which is neither wee nor blue, sits on the first bank level above the lake, at the base of the big hill that makes up the heart of the city. It’s the kind of place where the bartender throws sawdust on the floor and calls it decor. Eggs and sausage float in scum-filled jars on the bar, sacks of garlic potato chips and cheese balls hang from wall racks, and the mirror was last cleaned in the fifties. Weenie is fat, chews a toothpick, and wears a boat-shaped, white paper hat. He was behind the bar when I arrived a few minutes after two.
    “Back booth,” he said. I got a bottle of beer and headed toward the back. LuEllen was drinking a Perrier-and-lime.
    “How’s the painting business?” she asked as I slid into the booth.
    “Okay. How’s the burglary business?”
    “Not bad. Nice and steady.”
    “Any scary moments?”
    “Just one. Nothing serious.”
    “So tell me,” I said. I tell her about my unconventional jobs, and she tells me about hers. Therapy, she called it.
    She had been tracking a guy in Cleveland, the manager of three busy fast-food franchises on the Interstate. Every Saturday evening he picked up the collections from Friday and Saturday—all cash, no checks accepted. Most weekends he drove downtown and dropped the money—as much as twenty-five thousand—at his bank’s night deposit. Sometimes, though, when he had a big date with his stewardess girlfriend, he’d take the Friday and Saturday receipts back to his apartment, where he lived alone, and leave it there overnight.
    “So I’m talking to the stew—a friend called me about her—and she tells me about this guy. Doesn’t like him. He’s got money, all right, but he’s a little rough and serious about his blowjobs, which she doesn’t like so much. She’s looking to dump him. So we talk about this and that, and she says she’ll take twenty percent. I say okay and she lays a couple of keys on me.”
    “Just a little girl-talk,” I said.
    “Right. So on this one Saturday afternoon, the stew calls him up and he says, ‘What’s happenin’, babes,’ which is the way he talks. She hums a few bars from the ‘Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy from Company C,’ and he says, ‘Let’s go.’ ”
    LuEllen watched him take the money bag to his apartment.
    “Ten minutes later, he’s out of there, and I follow. I get him with the stew, watch them take off downtown, and then I head back to his place. There’s no doorman, just the outside key and the apartment key. I go up and straight in. I get the door open and head for the kitchen—the stew tells me he puts the cash in the refrigerator when he’s leaving it overnight. And there it is, in the freezer. I’m taking it out and all of a sudden there’s this voice, a man’s voice, from the back where the bedrooms are, saying, ‘Is that you, Steve?’ ”
    “Whoops.”
    “Yeah. Must’ve been a friend or something, staying over.”
    “What did you do?”
    “Took the money and walked back out the front door, down the fire stairs and out.”
    “And?”
    “Nothing. I walked out, got in my car, and drove away. Never saw the guy.”
    “Jesus. What do you do if he sees you?”
    She shrugged. “Depends. Maybe I scream. I say, ‘Don’t hurt me, I’ll call the police.’ He says, ‘Who the hell are you?’ I say, ‘Tina,’ and come on like his friend’s secret lover. But I act very nervous about being alone with this strange guy. Make him feel like a bully. Get out of there.”
    LuEllen had never been caught by the police or done jail time. There had been a few close calls, even a few actual encounters, like the one she’d had with me. But she’d always managed to talk her way out. So far.
    We chatted a while longer, and finally she popped the question. Why was I in Duluth?
    “How much more do you need to retire?” I asked.
    “Maybe a quarter million.”
    “That’s another four or five years?”
    “Unless I get lucky. Or unlucky.”
    “Your coke bill still going up?”
    “What am I going to do?” she asked sharply. “I need it to