The Funhouse

About what?”
        Amy couldn't meet the woman's eyes. She looked away, turned her gaze to the muddy residue of cold coffee in the bottom of her mug.
        “Well?” Mama asked.
        Although Amy had drunk a lot of coffee, her mouth was so dry that her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She swallowed, licked her parched lips, cleared her throat, and at last said, “I have to withdraw some money from my savings account.”
        “What are you talking about?”
        “I need… four hundred dollars.”
        “That's ridiculous.”
        “No. I really need it, Mama.”
        “For what?”
        “I'd rather not say.”
        Her mother was astonished. “You'd rather not say?”
        “That's right.”
        The astonishment turned to consternation. “You want to withdraw four hundred dollars that's meant for your college tuition, and you don't want to say what you're going to do with it?”
        “Mama, please. After all, I earned it.”
        The consternation turned to anger. “Now you listen to me and listen good, young lady. Your father does well enough at his law practice, but he doesn't do all that well. He's not F. Lee Bailey. You want to go to college, and college is expensive these days. You're going to have to help pay for it. In fact you're going to have to pay for most of it. We'll let you live here, of course, and we'll pay for your food, your clothes, your medical bills, while you're going to the junior college, but you'll have to meet the tuition out of your savings. When you go away to the university in a couple of years, we'll send you some money for living expenses, but you'll have to pay for that tuition, too. We just can't do more than that. We'll be sacrificing as it is.”
        If you didn't spend so much money trying to impress Father O'Hara with your devotion to St. Mary's Church, if you and Daddy didn't contribute a tithe and a half to show what good people you are, maybe you'd be able to do more for your own children, Amy thought. Charity starts at home, Mama. Isn't that what the Bible tells us? Besides, if you hadn't made me tithe to St. Mary's, I'd have that extra four hundred bucks now that I need it.
        Amy wished she could say all of that, but she didn't dare. She didn't want to completely alienate her mother before she even had a chance to mention the pregnancy. Anyway, no matter how she tried to express what she was thinking, no matter what words she chose, she would sound petty and selfish.
        But she wasn't selfish, damn it.
        She knew it was a good thing to give money to the Church, but there had to be limits. And you had to give for the right reasons. Otherwise it didn't mean anything. Sometimes Amy suspected that her mother hoped to buy a place in Heaven, and that was definitely the wrong reason to give to the Church.
        Amy forced herself to look up at her mother and smile. “Mama, I've already got that small scholarship for next year. If I work real hard I'll probably get scholarships every year, even if they're all just small ones. And I'll be working at The Dive summers and weekends. With what I'll be earning, plus what I've got in the bank already, I'll have more than enough to pay for my own way. By the time I get to Ohio State, I won't need to ask you and Daddy for help, not even for living expenses. I can spare that four hundred dollars right now, Mama. I can spare it easy.”
        “No,” Mama said. “And don't think you can sneak behind my back and get the money on your own hook. My name's on that account along with yours. You're still a minor, don't forget. As long as I can, I'm going to protect you from yourself. I'm not letting you throw your college money away on trendy new clothes you don't need or on some other silly bauble you've just seen in a store window.”
        “It isn't new clothes I want, Mama.”
        “Whatever. I won't let you-”
        “It's not a silly bauble I want, either.”
        “I don't care what sort of foolishness-”
        “An abortion,” Amy said.
        Her mother gaped at her. “ What?”
        Touched off by a fuse of fear, the words exploded from Amy: “I've had some morning sickness, I missed my period, I'm really pregnant, I know I am, Jerry Galloway got me pregnant, I didn't mean for it to happen, I'm so sorry it happened, so very sorry, I hate myself, I really do, I really hate myself, but I have to get an abortion, I've just got to have one,