The Groaning Board

Sheila was killed by something that
was in a corn muffin she ate. They found three others in the freezer with the
same poison.”
    “I’d heard from someone downtown.”
    “Why didn’t you tell me?”
    “It was a guess and not verified.
What difference does it make whether it was the corn muffins?”
    “It makes a big difference. I didn’t
tell them, but they knew. Oh, God.” She threw back her head and finished the
wine. Who knew if she could even stand up?
    Wetzon said, gently, “Knew what,
Micklynn?”
    “That I made the corn muffins,” she
wailed.

Chapter Three

     
     
     
    Towel around
his neck, Carlos dangled simian from the barre, a midair slouch. ‘Dear Heart,
I’ve been meaning to tell you that’s an ugly thing you’re wearing.” He nodded
to the gross-colored welt that ran upward from her upper arm, disappearing
beneath the V-necked tee. “Walked into a door?”
    No.’ She lay on her mat pondering her
life.
    “Made someone mad?”
    Maybe.” She rolled herself into a
shoulder stand. “Minnie Wu. Scissored her legs back and forth. They were good legs.(
    “She beats up anyone she thinks Hem
looks at. You should have seen what she did to Mickey.”
    “Jesus, Micklynn had an affair with
Hem?”
    “She did. Min never forgives. She’s a
jealous creature.“
    “Oh, please. I am no one for anyone
to be jealous of.” Good legs or not. Legs together, she arched her back and
came down one leg at a time into a backbend, then took a walk, a quadruped with
arched back.
    It s charmed I am by your creative
position. Now if the new beau could see you—”
    “New beau?” She dropped to the floor
and lay flat. “There is no new beau, darling.” Izz climbed up on her stomach,
circled, and nested.
    “Oh, really?” Carlos said, raising
one eyebrow and lowering one eyelid. He sank down beside her, tailor fashion.
“Don’t tell me the old one’s back.”
    “The old one’s gone for good, my man,
and I celebrate my celibacy.”
    “Bull shit. Look me in the eye
and say that, Birdie.”
    She laughed, dumping Izz on the floor
as she rolled over. “There’s no one, I swear.” She covered her head with her
hands.
    “You lie,” he snarled in a mock
Gestapo accent and snapped his towel at her. “Vee know how to deal viz liars. Talk.”
He snapped the towel at her again.
    “No, no, stop. I’ll talk.”
    “Who is it? I vant a name.”
    Giggling, she said, “I cannot lie to
you. It’s Hem Barron.“
    “An obvious lie.” He snapped his
fingers at her. “Didn’t I varn you? Otto, take her to the—”
    Propping herself up on her elbows,
she said, “One, Mr. Smartass, how do you know there’s someone else, and two,
how do you know it’s not Hem?” She sat up and faced him tailor fashion too,
their knees touching.
    “Because, my dear, sweet Birdie,
Carlos knows you so well. He can read you like a book. And it ain’t Hem
Barron.“
    “Bullshit.”
    “He’s not your type, darling.”
    “Why not?”
    “Too rich, too obvious, too shallow.”
    “Too true.”
    He leaned across two sets of knees
and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Tell your best friend. He would
tell you.” Sighing, Wetzon placed her hands on Carlos’ shoulders. “You won’t be
judgmental?”
    “Judgmental? Moi? Who am I to
be judgmental?” He gave her a lascivious grin. “Who is it?”
    “Bill Veeder.”
    “Oy.”
    “See. I knew you’d be judgmental.”
    “No, no, Birdie. I love you
unconditionally. I just worry for you. I read Liz Smith. You never pick the
easy ones.“
    “Okay, let me get this over with.
He’s married, his wife has advanced Alzheimer’s, he’s an ex-cop.”
    “Have a thing for cops, have we?”
Carlos grinned at her. “I have to admit he’s a looker, long lean bod. I could
go for him myself.” He kissed her forehead. “How’s the sex?”
    She pushed him over. “You’re just
like everybody else. You read those trashy gossip columns. Smith asked me,
Laura Lee asked me.”
    He lay on the floor and laughed. “Too
funny, Birdie, darling. I bet you didn’t tell them.”
    “I didn’t.”
    “Bet you’ll tell me, girlfriend.”
    “Well, you bet wrong, sister.”
    “La, I guess that means you two
haven’t climbed into the sack yet.” He was howling with laughter, rolling on
the floor.
    Wetzon rose straight up to her full
height and uncrossed her legs. “Swine.” She tickled his chest with the toe of
her ballet slipper. “Get up and say that as a man.”
    He was