The inimitable Jeeves

-‘
    ‘Oh, right-o!’
    I wrote out the receipt and handed it over, feeling more or less of an ass.
    ‘Here you are,’ I said.
    The girl took the piece of paper, shoved it in her bag, grabbed the money and slipped it to brother Sidney, and then, before I knew what was happening, she had darted at me, kissed me, and legged it from the room.
    I’m bound to say the thing rattled me. So dashed sudden and unexpected. I mean, a girl like that. Always been quiet and demure and what not - by no means the sort of female you’d have expected to go about the place kissing fellows. Through a sort of mist I could see that Jeeves had appeared from the background and was helping the brother on with his coat; and I remember wondering idly how the dickens a man could bring himself to wear a coat like that, it being more like a sack than anything else. Then the brother came up to me and grasped my hand.
    ‘I cannot thank you sufficiently, Mr Wooster!’
    ‘Oh, not at all.’
    ‘You have saved my good name. Good name in man or woman, dear my lord,’ he said, massaging the fin with some fervour, ‘is the immediate jewel of their souls. Who steals my purse steals trash. ‘Twas mine, ‘tis his, and has been slave to thousands. But he that filches my good name robs me of that which enriches not him and makes me poor indeed. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Good night, Mr Wooster.’
    ‘Good night, old thing,’ I said.
    I blinked at Jeeves as the door shut. ‘Rather a sad affair, Jeeves,’ I said.
    ‘Yes, sir.’
    ‘Luckily I happened to have all that money handy.’
    ‘Well - er - yes, sir.’
    ‘You speak as though you didn’t think much of it.’
    ‘It is not my place to criticize your actions, sir, but I will venture to say that I think you behaved a little rashly.’
    ‘What, lending that money?’
    ‘Yes, sir. These fashionable French watering places are notoriously infested by dishonest characters.’
    This was a bit too thick.
    ‘Now look here, Jeeves,’ I said. ‘I can stand a lot but when it comes to your casting asp-whatever-the-word-is on a bird in Holy Orders -‘
    ‘Perhaps I am over-suspicious, sir. But I have seen a great deal of these resorts. When I was in the employment of Lord Frederick Ranelagh, shortly before I entered your service, his lordship was very neatly swindled by a criminal known, I believe, by the soubriquet of Soapy Sid, who scraped acquaintance with us in Monte Carlo with the assistance of a female accomplice. I have never forgotten the circumstances.’
    ‘I don’t want to butt in on your reminiscences, Jeeves,’ I said, coldly, ‘but you’re talking through your hat. How can there have been anything fishy about the business? They’ve left me the pearls, haven’t they? Very well, then, think before you speak. You had better be tooling down to the desk now and having these things shoved in the hotel safe.’ I picked up the case and opened it. ‘Oh, Great Scott!’
    The bally thing was empty!
    ‘Oh, my Lord!’ I said, staring. ‘Don’t tell me there’s been dirty work at the crossroads after all!’
    ‘Precisely, sir. It was in exactly the same manner that Lord Frederick was swindled on the occasion to which I have alluded. While his female accomplice was gratefully embracing his lordship, Soapy Sid substituted a duplicate case for the one containing the pearls and went off with the jewels, the money and the receipt. On the strength of the receipt he subsequently demanded from his lordship the return of the pearls, and his lordship, not being able to produce them, was obliged to pay a heavy sum in compensation. It is a simple but effective ruse.’
    I felt as if the bottom had dropped out of things with a jerk.
    ‘Soapy Sid? Sid! Sidney! Brother Sidney! Why, by Jove, Jeeves, do you think that parson was Soapy Sid?’
    ‘Yes, sir.’
    ‘But it seems extraordinary. Why, his collar buttoned at the back - I mean, he would have deceived a bishop. Do you really think he was Soapy Sid?’
    ‘Yes, sir. I recognized him directly he came into the room.’
    I stared at the blighter.
    ‘You recognized him?’
    ‘Yes, sir.’
    ‘Then, dash it all,’ I said, deeply moved. ‘I think you might have told me.’
    ‘I thought it would save disturbance and unpleasantness if I merely extracted the case from the man’s pocket as I assisted him with his coat, sir. Here it is.’
    He laid another case on the table beside the dud one, and, by Jove, you couldn’t tell