The Last Concubine

steel himself for that eventuality, Lan withdrew a little from Hüi. When the luggage was packed and loaded onto the roof of the carriage, Lan took to the saddle one last time, knowing that before they came to the nearest village, he would need to dismount and take his place within the carriage, like a proper well-bred lady of the general’s household.
    Hüi rode in silence beside him and with each mile they put behind them, Lan could feel the distance between them grow greater. I chose my life and now I must embrace the consequences of my choice. Never again will we have this intimacy, but at least I will have these three days. Lan remembered Mei Ju saying Hüi had taken her on certain trips and that had the effect of robbing this respite of the special magic with which he had imbued it.
    When he turned to glance at Hüi, his lover’s face was set in grim lines, and Lan couldn’t fathom what emotions lay beneath that expression.
    Finally, Captain Wen raised his hand and the column halted. Ning dismounted from his second, much livelier horse and opened the carriage door for the princess.
    Feeling like a prisoner being led back to his jail cell after a brief escape, Lan’xiu dismounted. He patted the mare’s neck, whispering farewell endearments to her, wondering if he would ever see her again. Then he turned and squared his shoulders, preparing to ascend into the carriage.
    A whirl of a cloak surrounded him and he was swept into Hüi’s tight embrace, hearing his lover’s husky voice, broken with emotion in his ear. “I cannot live without the sight of your lovely face every day, my Lan’xiu. It is madness to be so near and yet not to see you. If I must, I will have your lantern lit every day.”
    Instead of crying in front of his soldiers, Lan laughed with joy and heartbreak, wanting to comfort his lover. “You must not, Hüi, you have other wives—”
    “I care not. I must see you, I must have you—” Hüi clasped him so tightly, Lan was breathless and panting.
    Crazy thoughts raced through his head, and Lan wanted to remind Hüi of Mei Ju’s devotion, but he was too happy at this reassuring demonstration. “You will always be welcome in my bedchamber, whether you light the lantern or not. Oh Hüi! I miss you already! I can’t bear for you to let me go.”
    “I want to hold you always next to my heart,” Hüi declared. He tilted Lan’s face up and kissed him full upon the lips, uncaring of the men who were watching. “I shall find a way, my love. We must not be parted after this. I couldn’t bear it.” Reluctantly, he released Lan and stepped away.
    Lan’xiu glanced around to find Ning and Captain Wen staring at each other, while most of the men properly faced outward, on guard against the sudden appearance of any enemies, although a few seemed to be blinking rather fast. He put his hand on Hüi’s cheek and laughed shakily. “Anyone would think we were parting for a year’s separation when we will be living only yards apart when we return.”
    Hüi picked up his hand and kissed the palm. “You are right. We are being ridiculous. Into the carriage with you. I shall see you safely bestowed in your house before I—” He broke off and helped Lan’xiu into the carriage.
    Lan permitted it, though he didn’t need the assistance, only in order to feel Hüi’s last lingering caress as he climbed the steps. Ning climbed in behind him and shut the door. Lan let down the window even though he could see his breath in the frigid air, and it started to snow, white flakes swirling in the interior of carriage. But even Ning did not voice a complaint about the cold as Lan kept his eyes fixed upon the straight figure of the general as he rode a little ahead.
     
     
    A FTER the emotion Hüi displayed when they parted at the carriage, Lan had hoped her lantern would be lit that very night, but it remained dark for a week, and she heard nothing from him. It was only cold comfort that all the lanterns remained dark within the household square the entire time.
    Ning had permitted Lan’xiu to resume her walks outside after they returned from consulting with the fictitious doctor, but they were alone in the park at the center of the square, despite the fact winter had retreated and the signs of spring were upon them.
    The sound of birdsong and the tiny buds upon the fruit trees in the square could not bring a smile to Lan’xiu’s lips. It seemed to her that despite what he’d said, Hüi had forgotten