The Last Olympian

crash-landed.”
    “Your concern is touching. I did crash-land. Very painfully. In fact, part of me is still buried under a hundred feet of rubble in an abandoned coal mine. It will be several more hours before I have enough strength to mend. But in the meantime, part of my consciousness is here .”
    “At a bar, playing Pac-Man.”
    “Party time,” Dionysus said. “Surely you’ve heard of it. Wherever there is a party, my presence is invoked. Because of this, I can exist in many different places at once. The only problem was finding a party. I don’t know if you’re aware how serious things are outside your safe little bubble of New York—”
    “Safe little bubble?”
    “—but believe me, the mortals out here in the heartland are panicking. Typhon has terrified them. Very few are throwing parties. Apparently Bobby Earl and his friends, bless them, are a little slow. They haven’t yet figured out that the world is ending.”
    “So . . . I’m not really here?”
    “No. In a moment I’ll send you back to your normal insignificant life, and it will be as if nothing had happened.”
    “And why did you bring me here?”
    Dionysus snorted. “Oh, I didn’t want you particularly. Any of you silly heroes would do. That Annie girl—”
    “Annabeth.”
    “The point is,” he said, “I pulled you into party time to deliver a warning. We are in danger .”
    “Gee,” I said. “Never would’ve figured that out. Thanks.”
    He glared at me and momentarily forgot his game. Pac-Man got eaten by the red ghost dude.
    “ Erre es korakas , Blinky!” Dionysus cursed. “I will have your soul!”
    “Um, he’s a video game character,” I said.
    “That’s no excuse! And you’re ruining my game, Jorgenson!”
    “Jackson.”
    “Whichever! Now listen, the situation is graver than you imagine. If Olympus falls, not only will the gods fade, but everything that is connected to our legacy will also begin to unravel. The very fabric of your puny little civilization—”
    The game played a song and Mr. D progressed to level 254.
    “Ha!” he shouted. “Take that, you pixelated fiends!”
    “Um, fabric of civilization,” I prompted.
    “Yes, yes. Your entire society will dissolve. Perhaps not right away, but mark my words, the chaos of the Titans will mean the end of Western civilization. Art, law, wine tastings, music, video games, silk shirts, black velvet paintings—all the things that make life worth living will disappear!”
    “So why aren’t the gods rushing back to help us?” I said. “We should combine forces at Olympus. Forget Typhon.”
    He snapped his fingers impatiently. “You forgot my Diet Coke.”
    “Gods, you’re annoying.” I got the attention of a waitress and ordered the stupid soda. I put it on Bobby Earl’s tab.
    Mr. D took a good long drink. His eyes never left the video game. “The truth is, Pierre—”
    “Percy.”
    “—the other gods would never admit this, but we actually need you mortals to rescue Olympus. You see, we are manifestations of your culture. If you don’t care enough to save Olympus yourselves—”
    “Like Pan,” I said, “depending on the satyrs to save the Wild.”
    “Yes, quite. I will deny I ever said this, of course, but the gods need heroes. They always have. Otherwise we would not keep you annoying little brats around.”
    “I feel so wanted. Thanks.”
    “Use the training I have given you at camp.”
    “ What training?”
    “You know. All those hero techniques and . . . No!” Mr. D slapped the game console. “ Na pari i eychi! The last level!”
    He looked at me, and purple fire flickered in his eyes. “As I recall, I once predicted you would turn out to be as selfish as all the other human heroes. Well, here is your chance to prove me wrong.”
    “Yeah, making you proud is real high on my list.”
    “You must save Olympus, Pedro! Leave Typhon to the Olympians and save our own seats of power. It must be done!”
    “Great. Nice little chat. Now, if you don’t mind, my friends will be wondering—”
    “There is more,” Mr. D warned. “Kronos has not yet attained full power. The body of the mortal was only a temporary measure.”
    “We kind of guessed that.”
    “And did you also guess that within a day at most, Kronos will burn away that mortal body and take on the true form of a Titan king?”
    “And that would mean . . .”
    Dionysus inserted another quarter. “You know about the true forms of the gods.”
    “Yeah. You