The Men in her Life

him.
    He looked at her for a few moments.
    ‘Cheer up,’ she laughed, ‘it’s your wedding day!’
    ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I just can’t go through with it.’
    ‘Can’t go through with what?’ Holly asked.
    ‘The wedding.’
    ‘Oh come on, Simon, it’s not such a big deal. That’s why we kept it small. It’ll just be like having a nice dinner with friends. I may make a speech, but you don’t have to...’
    ‘No... I didn’t mean...’he tried to interrupt.
    ‘... we’re not even having a proper cake... look, I couldn’t resist these flowers, and the man told me to tell you...’
    ‘Just shut up a minute,’ he suddenly said, exasperated. ‘I’m trying to tell you that I can’t marry you,’ he added gently.
    There was a moment’s silence as she wondered whether she had heard him correctly.
    ‘Can’t marry me?’ she repeated.
    ‘It won’t work. I’m very sorry...’
    ‘Sorry? What d’you mean it won’t work? Who says it won’t work?’
    ‘I do... oh, we might go on pretending for a few months, even a year, but after that...’
    ‘After that we could get divorced,’ Holly interrupted, ‘everyone gets divorced for God’s sake...’
    She waited for him to laugh, but he didn’t.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
    ‘What the hell do you mean?’ she suddenly turned on him, ‘I’m the one that’s settling for second best. Not you. You’re the one getting what you always wanted, remember?’
    ‘Well, that’s one of the reasons it won’t work,’ Simon said calmly, ‘because you’re not the sort of person who settles for second best, as you put it so charmingly... are you?’
    ‘Hang on a minute,’ Holly held up both hands. ‘Don’t make this my fault. You’re the one who’s calling it off. Not me. Just don’t try to make it me...’ She began to shake.
    Simon went to put his arms around her.
    ‘Leave me alone!’ She shrugged him violently away.
    She stood with her back to him, her mind a mass of contradictions.
    ‘Oh bloody hell!’ she stamped her foot, ‘why d’you have to call it off today, of all days. Why couldn’t you just have waited...’
    ‘Until when?’
    ‘Simon, we’ve got twenty people sitting down to dinner in... in about an hour. Some of them are probably there already. I know Mo will be...’
    ‘So you’d rather get married, then split up?’ he asked disbelievingly.
    ‘Yes!’ she said, with a bright smile, then saw that it wasn’t an offer.
    ‘Oh God, you really mean it, don’t you?’ she said.
    ‘I’m sorry...’
    She knew that she should be crying or something, but she just felt blank.
    ‘So, when did you decide this?’ she asked coldly.
    ‘Last night. I’ve been thinking about it all day, trying to find a way round it... but I can’t...’
    ‘What happened last night?’
    ‘Nothing... it just suddenly went from being a dream to being reality, and... well, I thought... I thought that you were everything I wanted, and I realized... well, I suppose I realized that you weren’t...’
    ‘So, what’s wrong with me all of a sudden?’ Holly demanded, turning round again. He could look her in the face to tell her that.
    ‘Nothing’s wrong with you...’ he pleaded to be let off the hook.
    ‘There’s someone else then,’ she looked straight at him.
    There was no denial.
    ‘There’s someone else! I don’t bloody believe it...’
    ‘There isn’t anyone else...’he began.
    Suddenly, in an imaginary bubble above Holly’s head, a light-bulb went on.
    ‘It’s Clare, isn’t it?’
    There had been something about the way the door closed behind the person leaving Simon’s flat last night that had made her think of sex, Holly remembered. And then she had seen who it was and the thought had disappeared.
    ‘How did you know?’ Simon asked, blushing.
    ‘Because I bumped into her on her way back from your midnight tryst... We had a wonderful chat, or so I thought. I can’t believe it. Clare! You went and fucked my bloody sister!’
    ‘We didn’t fuck. We didn’t even touch each other...’he protested, then added quietly, ‘but I was shocked by how much I wanted to...’
    ‘You bastard!’ she shouted.
    ‘Holly, don’t...’
    ‘Clare, beautiful too-good-to-be-true Clare... I’m sure she must have been delighted to get her revenge... duplicitous little bitch...’ Only rage held her back from the brink of tears.
    ‘It wasn’t like that,’ Simon broke in, ‘it wasn’t like that at all. Don’t blame her. She