The Merchant of Menace

plenty of time to get the coffee started.“
    “I guess we’ll have to invite Addie along,“ Shelley said glumly.
    Jane sighed. “I guess so. With any luck, she’ll turn us down.”
    Jane went upstairs and tapped lightly on the door to the sewing room. “Addie? Shelley and I are going to lunch and I wondered—”
    She stopped speaking as Addie opened the door.
    Jane came down a few minutes later, walking hard on her heels. “Let’s go. Now,“ she said grimly.
    Shelley knew the danger signs and quickly shoved her feet into her boots and grabbed her coat. A moment later, as they were getting into Shelley’s car, which was parked in her driveway, Pet Dwyer tapped on Jane’s window. Jane yelped with surprise and opened it.
    “Mrs. Jeffry, you’ve having your cookie party today, aren’t you?“
    “I am,“ Jane said, “but I’m afraid kids aren’t invited.“
    “But is my dad invited?”
    Jane thought for a second. The neighborhood cookie parties had traditionally been girly-girly affairs, but times had changed. Pet’s dad was just as much a single, stay-at-home parent as Jane herself was.
    “Well, of course, Pet. I’m very sorry I didn’t think to invite him sooner. We’re just leaving, but I’ll stop and ask him on the way.“
    “You don’t need to. I’ll tell him. He’ll bring his fudge. He’s making it now.“
    “If you’d rather, that would be fine,“ Jane said. She knew she should issue the belated invitation herself, but she was still too shaken by her recent encounter with Addie to take on another difficult person.
    Pet waited safely and patiently while Shelley backed up in her usual hell-for-leather driving style. “I wonder if the idea of asking for an invitation was Pet’s or her dad’s?“ Shelley said when they were on their way.
    “Huh? Oh, good question,“ Jane said, preoccupied. “Sounds like it might have been his, since she said he was already making fudge. I really should have invited him without Pet prodding me to be polite.”
    They didn’t speak again until they reached a little neighborhood Chinese restaurant that was one of their favorite spots to eat. It was barely eleven-fifteen and they were the first and only customers as yet. Luncheon was a buffet that was just being set out. Shelley ordered jasmine tea for both of them, then leaned forward and said, “Spill the beans, kiddo. What are you so pissed about?“
    “She rearranged the sewing room. Actually moved the bed to the other wall and put the sewing table in front of the window.“
    “Addie moved a bed?“
    “It’s just a flimsy little bed and it’s on rollers. But that’s not the point. It’s my house. My sew- ing room. I don’t care that there’s better light for sewing nearer the window. I had it like I liked it. I can’t believe a woman of her sophistication would think that was acceptable guest behavior!“
    “Oh, Jane! Get a grip! Of course she knows that. You’re missing the point.“
    “Which is?“
    “She’s showing you what kind of mother-in-law she could be if you dare to marry her baby boy.”
    Jane stared at Shelley for a minute, then said, “You’re right.“ Suddenly the whole incident struck her as funny. “She could have done worse. Dyed her hair and destroyed the bathroom. Or washed all my sweaters with bleach. I got off easy, I guess.“
    “You have to nip this in the bud, Jane, before she thinks of something else.“
    “Oh, I will,“ Jane said, grinning like a hyena.
    Shelley cocked a shapely eyebrow, but didn’t inquire further. She glanced at the buffet table. “Oh, look, they’re bringing out that divine spicy beef and scallops thing!”
    The two of them hardly talked during lunch, wolfing down their favorite Chinese food in a most unladylike manner. Finally, they sat back, sated and feeling stuffed and greasy.
    Jane cracked open her fortune cookie. “ ‘ The wise man uses his time as if it were a treasure,’ “ she read. “Phooey! That’s not a fortune, it’s a homily. I want real fortunes in fortune cookies. Like, ‘You will inherit vast- sums of money in seventeen days,’ or ‘Your daughter will take good care of you when you get old and dotty and want to wear your panties on your head.’ What’s yours say?”
    Shelley unfolded the little white strip of paper. “Your son will get a full scholarship to Harvard.’ “
    “No! It does not,“ Jane said, snatching at the paper, which Shelley held just beyond her reach. The waitress brought