The Never List

rubbed her arm lovingly and told her to take her time.
    “I woke up, and I was hog-tied in the middle of this big library.”
    At this, I had to close my eyes. Images of that room spun in my head. The color. The light. The smell of it hit me suddenly. I gripped the table edge and forced myself to focus.
    “I was there for three days. No food, very little water. Lots of pain. And he … he …”
    She couldn’t go on.
    Piker leaned closer to her, “Don’t say it, honey. Just show her.”
    Raven stood up beside the table and pulled the side of her leather pants down so we could see her hip. There it was, in twisted flesh. A brand. It looked very similar to my own, though it was hard to make out in the dark. I looked away, blinking back tears.
    At just that moment, the MC announced the next act. I glanced over and saw three hooded men pushing a large contraption onto the stage. I could not believe my eyes as they slowly and carefully rolled a rack to the center of it. It was different from the one in Jack’s library, but the purpose was clearly the same. I felt a wave of nausea rising up inside me. Raven saw it too and turned to Piker, her eyes pleading.
    He stood. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t like this show.”
    I started to feel my throat constrict. I couldn’t get any air. The room was spinning. I saw a door toward the back marked E XIT , and without a word to Adele or the others, I got up and ran toward it, nearly tripping along the way over a man in chaps crawling on the floor behind his master.
    I pushed open the exit door and ran over to a secluded spot behind the Dumpster, leaning back against the building, panting for breath. Up above, the sky was filled with stars that to me were whirling ominously. Trying to right the world, I took several more deep breaths, my hands on my knees, and slowly slid down the wall. I thought of how similar this was to Tracy’s escape from the club in New Orleans, and a wave of fear washed over me. How hadI gotten myself into this situation? How had I thought I could be ready for this?
    I tucked myself into a small indentation in the building, where no one could see me. No hooded men, no zippered women, no leather-clad minions. I wished I could will myself to be invisible and hide out here until morning. I could be still. I could be quiet.
    No one need ever know I was here.

CHAPTER 16
    It was a warm evening, and I could still hear the thumping of the music through the club’s walls. The door creaked open, and Adele called for me, careful to use the name, Blue, that she’d assigned me for the night. When I didn’t reply, the door slammed back shut.
    I don’t know why I didn’t answer her at that moment. I just needed a break to clear my head and process, even if only a little, what I’d heard. I’d planned to go back into the club in a few minutes, but it didn’t work out that way.
    Car headlights shone into the woods behind the building. An engine revved up and then began to idle a little farther away, closer to a second back door about thirty feet to my left.
    Two men got out, and I peeked around the corner just enough to see that it was a large van. They were talking in low voices. I couldn’t hear their words distinctly, but I thought the low rumblingvoice of one of them sounded familiar. I crawled out a few inches from my hiding place, intending to sneak back inside, when I saw the taller of the two pass in front of the van’s headlights.
    I almost rubbed my eyes in disbelief. It looked like Noah Philben. It couldn’t be. I had to get closer, if only to prove to myself I was mistaken. I had to be letting my imagination run wild in the midst of my fear.
    There was a cluster of bushes a few yards away, and the low rise of a hill ran along in between. If I could make it over there, I would be able to see what was going on and still be hidden in the dark shadows of the back lot. My pulse was racing, but I had to know if that was Noah Philben or if my mind was playing tricks on me.
    I took a deep breath and pushed myself on. You are stronger than this , I thought, willing myself to be so. Slowly, I eased down onto my stomach and crept over to the bushes.
    The men’s voices got louder. They were laughing about something. I heard the door of the van open. There was a little scuffle and a loud thud. Then the door slammed again.
    I reached the bushes, which were dense and prickly. I stepped back from them and peered through the leaves. The men were now