The Never List

on?”
    “Sarah, you have to keep in mind that over eight hundred thousand people go missing every year in the United States. This type of case goes cold fast. And some of these cases are more than fifteen years old.”
    “Right, so if some of those other girls are alive, they’d be just a little older than I am. I’d still want to be found, Jim.”
    “The chances that—”
    “I understand the statistics perfectly well.”
    Jim was silent.
    “Where are you, Sarah? Let’s start there. I will come to you.”
    “That’s a lot of families still waiting for their daughters, Jim. I want to see their names.”
    “Where are you?” he asked again.
    I hesitated. “I’m still in Portland. With Tracy. Bring the list.”
    I hung up and looked over at Tracy.
    She was still staring out over her breakfast. “How many?”
    “Fifty-eight. Including us.”
    Tracy’s jaw dropped. “I have to tell Christine,” she said, putting down her fork and leaning forward. “She needs to understand the scope of this. This is more than just finding Jennifer.”
    “And it could be more than Jack.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Fifty-eight girls. Could Jack have really been acting alone? If there was some sort of secret society, one involved with human sacrifice like that Bataille group, for chrissakes … couldn’t that have something to do with it?”
    Tracy was still staring off into the distance. “The warehouse. We have to go back there. We have to see what it was used for, or still is,” she said.
    My stomach plummeted. “Why don’t we wait until Jim is out here? Let’s let him explore the dark old warehouse that might be a temple of human sacrifice,” I suggested hopefully.
    “Sarah, the FBI doesn’t want to open up these cold cases, even if Jim is willing. There isn’t any pressure on them. There’s no press. Things need to be stirred up—that’s how it works. Trust me, it’s what I do. We need to give them something more to go on, something that will force them to look deeper and do it now .”
    “But Jim says he just needs a little more time,” I said pleadingly.
    “They’ve had years to look into this. I’m beginning to believe you’re right, and if so, we need to act now. We can’t wait for some government agency to get its ducks in a row. There has to be a connection between Noah Philben and Jack. There’s something strange about Sylvia joining his church, then hooking up with Jack through that, and then Noah Philben being at that S&M club. That’s Noah’s warehouse. We need to know what’s in it.”

CHAPTER 28
    “I can’t do it,” I said to Tracy an hour later, as she opened the door of her hotel room for me. She motioned for me to come in. The room was a disaster, her dark clothes and violent jewelry strewn around like the aftermath of some strange Gothic weather event. I cleared a few things away from the chair by the window and sat down, my back straight and chin lifted, determined to deliver the speech I’d been rehearsing in my own room since she’d come up with this insane idea.
    Tracy sat down on the edge of the bed, cross-legged, her elbows resting on her knees and her hands clasped in front of her. She waited expectantly, as though she had known this was coming.
    “I’ve been thinking about it more, and I just don’t think I can do it,” I began.
    “You mean, you can’t find Jennifer?”
    “I mean, I can’t go out to a warehouse in the middle of the night. Without the police.”
    “The police? Excuse me, but does it seem to you there is probable cause? They don’t even think there is a crime. And for that matter, maybe there isn’t one. This is trespassing, pure and simple. And maybe, if we get really brave, breaking and entering.”
    “Even more reason why we shouldn’t do it,” I countered.
    “Do you have any other ideas for leads?”
    I didn’t answer.
    “Yeah, thought so. So where does that leave us then? You want to give up? What’s worse? Looking through the windows of a warehouse, or having Jack Derber show up at your door a free man?”
    I shivered. “I obviously don’t want that.”
    “Look, I’m not psyched about this either. But I keep thinking about those other girls. The other fifty-four. If there’s a chance we could find even one—”
    “Can’t we at least go during the day?”
    “You mean, when anyone there could see us in plain sight? Come on, I don’t think I have to tell you how much more dangerous that is. We need the cover of