The Never List

involved in any of this.”
    “Mrs. Watson, I know when you were younger, you moved away with Noah. You were gone for a couple of years. What happened?”
    She drew herself up tall, seeming both surprised and offended that we would mention those events to her. I supposed this was the sort of thing people might whisper about in the church parking lot but would never say to her directly. She eyed us carefully and then sat down in a chair. She was certainly taking us more seriously now.
    “That’s true. And whom do I have to thank for spreading that information around? That was a hard time in my life, and I don’t want to relive it.”
    “What happened, Helen?” Now I was leaning forward. “Please tell us. Listen, if I tell you our own secret, maybe it will help you understand why we need to know.” I looked over at Tracy and Christine for permission to proceed, and they both nodded.
    “I know I told you before that my name was Caroline Morrow. That isn’t true. My name is actually Sarah Farber, and this is Tracy Elwes, and this is Christine McMasters. Do you recognize our names, Mrs. Watson?”
    She stared at us in disbelief. It didn’t feel good to be so famous. “Are you the girls—the girls who were held in Jack Derber’s basement for all those years?”
    “I’d call it a cellar really, but yes. That’s us.”
    Tears sprang up in Mrs. Watson’s eyes. “I’m so sorry those terrible things happened to you. But what does that have to do with Noah? I mean, he had his own issues, no doubt.” She was choosing her words carefully; it was clear she was afraid of Noah Philben. “But he had nothing to do with Jack Derber.”
    “That’s just what we’re trying to find out, Mrs. Watson. Did he have something to do with Jack Derber? We think there’s a connection,” I said.
    Tracy added, “And I think when you understand more about what Noah has done, you will see why it is so important for us to find out.”
    At this, she suddenly seemed alarmed. “What is he … what did he do?”
    “Human trafficking, Mrs. Watson. He was selling girls. His religious organization, or whatever you want to call it, was just a cover for it. And we think Jack Derber is right in the middle of all of it.”
    To our surprise, Mrs. Watson’s stiff pose disintegrated at those words, and she began to cry softly. She pulled out a handkerchief to dry her eyes, but the harder she tried to swallow back her tears, the harder she sobbed. Tracy and I looked at each other across the room. She knew something. Some kind of guilt had to be behind emotions this intense. We gave her a minute before continuing, none of us quite sure what to do.
    “Mrs. Watson,” I began, “I know this must be hard for you to realize that someone you … once loved … and whom you knew from your childhood …”
    Mrs. Watson shook her head and sat up straight as she covered her mouth with her hand. She stared out the window thoughtfully, and took a deep breath.
    “Not childhood. I moved here as a teenager. We started datingwhen I was sixteen. But we were.… Excuse me.” She put both hands over her face and then took them away, her expression more composed afterward.
    “We were … so close … I thought—I mean, I was … troubled by the religious organization, but I thought—I thought it was just about money. You know, cults make people give them their money and all that. And even so I prayed so hard for Noah. I prayed for him every day. I hoped that he would find respite from those troubling feelings of his.”
    “What troubling feelings?” Christine asked gently.
    Mrs. Watson sat up, still trying to pull herself together. She dabbed her eyes again and sighed.
    “He was … everyone has their cross to bear. You know, temptations to resist. Noah had a lot of anger in him. His father was a wonderful man—the minister at my church. That’s how I met Noah. But as I got to know him more, I realized he hated his father. I couldn’t understand it. Maybe it was because his father held so much influence in the community yet didn’t take advantage of his role—for financial gain or personal favors or whatever it was that Noah valued. I don’t even know what Noah wanted to get out of it, to tell you the truth.
    “I noticed this feeling in Noah early on, but I ignored it then. I was young. He was young. I didn’t want to believe these feelings were present in the boy I loved. Also, with me, at the beginning, he was all sugar. Honey just