The Ritual

a few moments before. His hands were shaking so badly Hutch had to take the packet out of his hands and light two cigarettes. One for each of
them.
    ‘Calm down. Take it easy. Just relax. Cool your boots. Man, what has got into you?’
    Luke didn’t speak, just smoked the cigarette in quick inhalations until he felt sick. So much cortisone and adrenaline had leaked into his empty stomach along with phlegm and cigarette
tar, he thought he might throw up. He unzipped his coat down to the waist, and bent over. Sucked in the cold wet air in great heaving lungfuls. He’d never felt so drained in his life. He
started to shudder.
    ‘Well, I guess that is the official end to the holiday,’ Hutch said after a few minutes’ silence.
    Luke started to smile, felt ashamed, and then found himself laughing in silence. Hutch was smiling too, but only as part of a thin and pained expression. He shook his head. ‘Didn’t
know you had it in you, Chief. God knows I’ve thought of giving Dom a shoeing over the years, but people like us just don’t do things this way. What were you thinking?’
    Luke looked at Hutch and saw the disappointment in his friend’s eyes, the permanent estrangement. You could never come back from an event like this. Nothing would ever be the same again.
He knew his friendship was over with all three of them.
    ‘Shit,’ he said and shook his head. He had to take a moment and swallow hard several times, otherwise his eyes would well up and he’d start crying. A lump closed his throat
down. It would be impossible to speak for a while. He stood up and walked away from the dead and fallen tree.
    ‘What am I doing here?’ Luke said, further down the path. Hutch had followed him, his head bowed, his face pale and long with the strain of dealing with them all,
on top of the situation they were in. They were forcing him to be a parent, to make every decision.
    ‘I couldn’t even afford to come. But I won’t have him call me a loser.’ His chest was going tight and he wanted to say so much to justify what he had just done, because
of how Dom made him feel, but it wasn’t coming.
    Hutch looked at the sky and blinked as the rain hit his face. ‘I better get back to the walking wounded.’
    ‘He doesn’t know anything about me any more. Nothing. None of you do.’
    ‘He doesn’t mean anything by it. No one does.’
    ‘Am I being a prick?’
    Hutch looked at his feet and sighed.
    ‘You think so too. It’s OK. Say it. I don’t give a shit any more. I’m happy to take off now, Hutch.’
    ‘Don’t be so free with the crazy talk. We’ve had enough of that.’
    ‘I meant to get help.’
    ‘We’re not there yet. Not by a long chalk. This is just a setback. And I do wish you’d all just chill out a bit. This really isn’t helping.’
    ‘I’m sorry. I just lost it.’
    ‘You don’t say.’
    They couldn’t look each other in the eye. They looked at the earth, at the sky, at the endless trees and bracken all around them that were all utterly indifferent to them.
    ‘Man. I went for miles, H. I reached the end of the line and got scratched to buggery. To find a way out. And when I came back . . . I just got so angry. I lost it. Because . . .
you’d hardly moved. Like there was no urgency.’
    ‘That’s crap, and you know it.’
    ‘I meant—’
    ‘They can’t walk. They’re both broken. I was just trying to keep their spirits up. Keeping them talking and trying to take their minds off the situation.’
    ‘And I fucked it.’
    ‘Totally.’
    Luke sighed. Touched his face where Dom had hit him. It wasn’t even sore, just puffy. ‘I had so much to tell you.’
    Hutch turned his head to the side. ‘See a way out?’
    Luke shook his head. ‘Nah. And it just gets worse. All of this shit.’ He kicked at a bush.
    Hutch closed his eyes and made a groaning noise. Then opened his eyes and sighed. ‘Next year, we’re renting a caravan.’
    ‘I was just about to throw the towel in and come back when I found a cemetery.’
    Now he had Hutch’s attention again.
    Luke nodded. ‘Tors, standing stones, whatever you call them.’
    ‘Rune stones.’
    ‘Rune stones. All overgrown. In a big thicket that I crawled under. But on the other side of it is a church.’
    ‘You are shitting me.’
    ‘I’m not. A really old church. Like one of those buildings we saw in Skansen. In the housing museum. And the forest clears up a bit around it.’
    Hutch’s face brightened. ‘Let’s