The Science of Discworld II

membrane? Or the first heartbeat’ Or the first dream (while still in the uterus)? Or the first word, or the first carnal experience? There are aspects of our future that are determined by, at least, the date of our birth (we may end up the youngest or the oldest child in the school intake that year, and that can make a big difference) but we’re not talking about these human-created things here.
    3 The gravitational attraction exerted by a single doctor at a distance of 6 inches is roughly twice that of Jupiter at its closest point to the Earth.
    4 At least on Discworld you can see the gods acting disgracefully.

SEVENTEEN
FREEDOM OF INFORMATION
    P EOPLE BELIEVED THAT ELVES could look like anything they wanted to, but this was, strictly speaking, wrong. Elves looked the same all the time (rather dull and grey, with large eyes, rather similar to bushbabies without the charm) but they could, without effort, cause others to see them differently.
    Currently the Queen looked like a fashionable lady of the time, in black lace, sparkling here and there with diamonds. Only with a hand over one eye and extreme concentration could even a trained wizard dimly see the true nature of the elf, and even then his eye would water alarmingly.
    Nevertheless, the wizards stood up when she entered. There’s such a thing as courtesy, after all.
    â€˜Welcome to my world, gentlemen,’ said the Queen, sitting down. Behind her, a couple of guards took up station either side of the door.
    â€˜Ours!’ snarled the Dean. ‘It’s our world!’
    â€˜Let us continue to disagree, shall we?’ said the Queen brightly. ‘You may have constructed it, but it’s our world now.’
    â€˜We have iron, you know,’ said Ridcully. ‘Would you like some tea, by the way? Foul stuff made without actual tea.’
    â€˜Much good may it do you. No, thank you,’ said the Queen. ‘Please note that my guards are human. So is your host. The Dean looks angry. You intend to fight here? When you have no magic? Be serious, gentlemen. You should be grateful, after all. This is a world without narrativium. Your strange humans were monkeys without stories. Theydid not know how the world was supposed to go . We gave them stories, and made them people.’
    â€˜You gave them gods and monsters,’ said Ridcully. ‘Stuff that stops people thinking straight. Superstitions. Demons. Unicorns. Bogeymen.’
    â€˜You have bogeymen on your world, don’t you?’ said the Queen.
    â€˜Yes, we do. But outside, where we can get at ’em. They ain’t stories. When you can see ’em, they don’t have any power.’
    â€˜Like unicorns,’ said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. ‘When you meet one, you find out it’s just a big sweaty horse. Looks nice, smells horsey.’
    â€˜And it’s magical ,’ said the Queen, her eyes gleaming.
    â€˜Yes, but that’s just another thing about it,’ said Ridcully. ‘Big, sweaty, magical. There’s nothing mysterious about it. You just learn the rules.’
    â€˜But surely you should be pleased!’ said the Queen, her eyes saying that she knew they weren’t and was glad of it. ‘Everyone here thinks this world is just like yours! Many people even believe that it is flat!’
    â€˜Yes, but back home they’d be right,’ said Ridcully. ‘Here they’re just ignorant.’
    â€˜Well, there is not a single thing you can do about it,’ said the Queen. ‘This is our world, Mister Wizard. It’s all stories. The religions here … amazing! And the beliefs … wonderful! The crop is bountiful, the harvest is rewarding. Do you know that more people believe in magic here than they do on your world?’
    â€˜ We don’t have to believe in it. It works! ’ snapped Ridcully.
    â€˜They believe in it here, and it doesn’t ,’ said the Queen. ‘And thus they believe in it even more, while ceasing to believe in themselves. Isn’t it astonishing?’
    She stood up. Most of the wizards went to stand up, too, and one or two of them got all the way. Misogynists to a man, the wizards were therefore always punctiliously polite to ladies.
    â€˜Here, you are just rather fussy old men,’ she said. ‘But we understand this world and we have had time to cultivate it. We like it. You can’t take us away. Your humans need us. We are part of their