The Selection (Selection - Trilogy)

from the touch.
    “Sorry,” he mumbled, looking my way.
    “Keep ’em closed!”
    He chuckled and went back to his original position.
    “This girl? Imagine that she depends on you. She needs you to cherish her and make her feel like the Selection didn’t even happen. Like if you were dropped on your own out in the middle of the country to wander around door to door, she’s still the one you would have found. She was always the one you would have picked.”
    The hopeful smile began to settle. More than settle, it started to sag.
    “She needs you to provide for her and protect her. And if it came to a point where there was absolutely nothing to eat, and you couldn’t even fall asleep at night because the sound of her stomach growling kept you awake—”
    “Stop it!” Maxon stood quickly. He walked across the hall and stayed there for a while, facing away from me.
    I felt a little awkward. I hadn’t realized this would make him so upset.
    “Sorry,” I whispered.
    He nodded his head but continued to look at the wall. After a moment he turned around. His eyes were searching mine, sad and questioning.
    “Is it really like that?” he asked.
    “What?”
    “Out there … does that happen? Are people hungry like that a lot?”
    “Maxon, I—”
    “Tell me the truth.” His mouth settled into a firm line.
    “Yes. That happens. I know of families where people give up their share for their children or siblings. I know of a boy who was whipped in the town square for stealing food. Sometimes you do crazy things when you’re desperate.”
    “A boy? How old?”
    “Nine,” I breathed with a shiver. I could still remember the scars on Jemmy’s tiny back, and Maxon stretched his own back as if he felt it all himself.
    “Have you”—he cleared his throat—“have you ever been like that? Starving?”
    I ducked my head, which was a giveaway. I really didn’t want to tell him about that.
    “How bad?”
    “Maxon, it will only upset you more.”
    “Probably,” he said with a grave nod. “But I’m only starting to realize how much I don’t know about my own country. Please.”
    I sighed.
    “We’ve been pretty bad. Most times if it gets to where we have to choose, we keep the food and lose electricity. The worst was when it happened near Christmas one year. It was very cold, so we were all wearing tons of clothes and watching our breath inside the house. May didn’t understand why we couldn’t exchange gifts. As a general rule, there are never any leftovers at my house. Someone always wants more.”
    I watched his face grow pale and realized I didn’t want to see him upset. I needed to turn this around, make it positive.
    “I know the checks we’ve gotten over the last few weeks have really helped, and my family is very smart about money. I’m sure they’ve already tucked it away so it’ll stretch out for a long time. You’ve done so much for us, Maxon.” I tried to smile at him again, but his expression remained unchanged.
    “Good God. When you said you were only here for the food, you weren’t kidding, were you?” he asked, shaking his head.
    “Really, Maxon, we’ve been doing pretty well lately. I—” But I couldn’t finish my sentence.
    Maxon came over and kissed my forehead.
    “I’ll see you at dinner.”
    As he walked away, he straightened his tie.

CHAPTER 18
     
    M AXON HAD SAID HE WOULD see me at dinner, but he wasn’t there. The queen entered alone. We made our delicate bows as she took her seat, and then settled in ourselves.
    I looked around the room to find the empty chair, assuming he was on a date, but everyone was here.
    I had spent the afternoon replaying what I’d said to Maxon. No wonder I’d never had any friends. I was shockingly bad at it.
    Just then Maxon and the king walked in. Maxon had his suit coat back on, but his hair was still a handsome mess. He and the king had their heads together as they walked. We hurried to stand. Their conversation was animated. Maxon was using his hands to express things and the king was nodding, acknowledging his son’s words but looking a little put out. When they reached the head table, King Clarkson gave Maxon a heavy pat on the back, his expression stern.
    As the king turned to face us all, his face suddenly flooded with enthusiasm. “Oh, goodness, dear ladies, please sit.” He kissed the queen on her head and sat himself.
    But Maxon remained standing.
    “Ladies, I have an announcement.” Every eye focused in. What