The Thanatos Syndrome
in the old days?â
âYes,â I say, wondering how Bob Como of Long Island City knows about bottle trees.
âWe got some in the Desire project. Yes, Blue Boyâs there.â
âI see.â
âWould you deny that is superior to the old fuck-you graffiti?â
âNo.â I look at my watch. âIâve got to go home. Two questions.â
âShoot. Make them hard questions.â
âAre you still disposing of infants and old people in your Qualitarian Centers?â
Bob Comeaux looks reproachful. âThatâs unfair, Tom.â
âI didnât say I disapproved. I was just asking.â
âAh ha. All right! What youâre talking about is pedeuthanasia and gereuthanasia. What weâre doing, as you well know, is following the laws of the Supreme Court, respecting the rights of the family, the consensus of child psychologists, the rights of the unwanted child not to have to suffer a life of suffering and abuse, the right of the unwanted aged to a life with dignity and a death with dignity. Toward this end weâto use your wordâdispose of those neonates and euthanates who are entitled to the Right to Death provision in the recent court decisions.â
âNeonate? Euthanate?â
âI think youâre having me on, Tom. Weâve spoken of this before. But Iâll answer you straight, anyhow. A neonate is a human infant who according to the American Psychological Association does not attain its individuality until the acquisition of language and according to the Supreme Court does not acquire its legal rights until the age of eighteen monthsâan arbitrary age to be sure, but one which, as you well know, is a good ballpark figure. You of all people know this. Consult your fellow shrinks.â
âI see.â
âNext question?â
âHow does Van Dorn figure in this?â
He laughs. âAh, Van. Van the man, the Renaissance man. Iâll tell you the truth. That guy makes me uncomfortable. Iâm just an ordinary clinician, Tom. Just a guy out to improve a little bit the quality of life for all Americans. He does too many things well: tournament bridge, Olympic soccer, headmaster, computer hackerâhe runs the computer division at Mitsy. In a word, heâs the Mitsy end of the sodium shunt and is a consultant to NRC besides. Heâs to NRC what I am to NIH. Heâs project manager of the coolant division at Grand Merâwhich means itâs up to him to dispose of waste heavy sodium. No problem! Without him thereâd be no goodies coming down the pipe. He not only set up the entire computer program for Mitsy but also the follow-up program for the beneficiaries of our little pilot programâsome one hundred thousand or so subjects. We know how theyâre performing as individuals and as a class. If you want to know the medical status of Joe Blow, a hairdresser in Denham Springs, heâll hit a key and tell you. If you want to know the incidence of AIDS in all the hairdressers and interior decorators in the treatment area, heâll hit a key and tell you. As a matter of fact, he mainly credits you with his success. He says youâre going down in history as the father of isotope brain pharmacology.â
âI see.â
âSo for better or worse, Doctor, it appears youâre one of us.â
âSo it seems.â
âVan Dorn.â He shakes his head. âWhat a character. I think heâs a bit of a spook myself, but he does think in large terms. This little project is small potatoes to him. Heâs got bigger fish to fry.â
âWhat are they?â
âA little item which he calls the sexual liberation of Western civilization. According to Van, the entire Western world has been hung up on sex since St. Paul.â
âI see.â
âWe call him our Dr. Ruth, Dr. Ruth of the bayous.â
âDr. Ruth?â
âDr. Ruth Westheimer, the good-sex lady. A little joke.â
âI see. Okay, would you mind taking me to my car?â
Weâre sailing through the sunlit pines, âThe Beautiful Blue Danubeâ all around us. Bob is enjoying himself. He puts a soft fist on my knee.
âTom, we need you. We want you on the team. We need your old sour, sardonic savvy to keep us honest. You understand, donât you?â
âYes.â
âOkay, one thing. Tell me honestly. Donât pull punches. Has anything youâve heard
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