The Truth

to be at the top of the first page, too. How strange—oh, ‘receive’ takes an E after the C …”
    Boddony looked up. Lord Vetinari’s cane swung around with a hiss and hovered in the middle of a densely packed column. The dwarf looked closer, and nodded, and took out a small tool.
    It’s upside down to him, and back to front, thought William. And the word’s in the middle of the text. And he spotted it.
    “Things that are back to front are often easier to comprehend if they are upside down as well,” said Lord Vetinari, tapping his chin with the silver knob of his cane in an absent-minded way. “In life as in politics.”
    “What have you done with Charlie?” said William.
    Lord Vetinari looked at him in nothing but innocent surprise. “Why, nothing. Should I have done something?”
    “Have you locked him up?” said Sacharissa suspiciously. “In a deep cell, and made him wear a mask all the time, and have all his meals brought by a deaf and dumb jailer?”
    “Er…no, I don’t think so,” said Lord Vetinari, giving her a smile. “Although it would make a very good story, I’ve no doubt. No, I understand he’s enrolled in the Guild of Actors, although of course I realize that there are those who would consider a deep dungeon a preferred alternative. I foresee a happy career for him, nevertheless. Children’s parties, and so on.”
    “What…as being you?”
    “Indeed. Very risible.”
    “And perhaps when you have some boring duty to perform, or have to sit for an oil painting, you’ll have a little job for him?” said William.
    “Hmm?” said Vetinari. William had thought that Vimes had a blank look, but he’d been wreathed in smiles compared to His Lordship when Lord Vetinari wanted to look blank. “Do you have any more questions, Mr. de Worde?”
    “I will have a lot,” said William, pulling himself together. “The Times will be taking a very close interest in civic affairs.”
    “How commendable,” said the Patrician. “If you contact Drumknott here, I’m sure I will find time to grant you an interview.”
    The Right Word in the Right Place, William thought. Unpleasant though the knowledge was, his ancestors had always been amongst the first to get to grips in any conflict. In every siege, every ambush, every stricken dash against fortified emplacements, some de Worde had galloped towards death or glory and sometimes both. No enemy was too strong, no wound was too dire, no sword was too heavy for a de Worde. No grave was too deep, either. As his instincts wrestled with his tongue, he could feel his ancestors behind him, pushing him into the fray. Vetinari was too obviously playing with him. Oh well, at least let’s die for something decent…onward to death or glory or both!
    “I am sure, my lord, that whenever you wish for an interview, the Times will be quite prepared to grant you one,” he said. “If space allows.”
    He hadn’t realized how much background noise there was until it stopped. Drumknott had closed his eyes. Sacharissa was staring straight ahead. The dwarfs stood like statues.
    Finally, Lord Vetinari broke the silence.
    “The Times ? Oh, you mean you, and this young lady here?” he said, raising his eyebrows. “Oh, I see . It’s like the Public. Well, if I can be of any help to the Times —”
    “We won’t be bribed, either,” said William. He knew he was galloping in among the sharpened stakes here, but he’d be damned before he’d be patronized.
    “Bribed?” said Vetinari. “My dear sir, seeing what you’re capable of for nothing, I’d hesitate to press even a penny in your hand. No, I have nothing to offer you except thanks, which of course are notorious for their evaporative tendencies. Ah, a little idea occurs. I shall be having a small dinner on Saturday. Some of the Guild leaders, a few ambassadors…all rather dull, but perhaps you and your very bold young lady…I do beg your pardon, I meant of course the Times …would like to attend?”
    “I don’t—” William began, and stopped suddenly. A shoe scraping down your shin can do that.
    “The Times would be delighted,” said Sacharissa, beaming.
    “Capital. In that case—”
    “There is a favor I need to ask, to tell the truth,” said William. Vetinari smiled.
    “Of course. If I can do anything for the Ti —”
    “Will you be going to Harry King’s daughter’s wedding on Saturday?”
    To his secret delight, the look that Vetinari gave him seemed to be blank because the