The Valkyries

himself.
    Rotha shook her head. She was ashamed—she would never succeed at becoming a woman like those who surrounded her. She was too weak.
    Valhalla knotted together the kerchiefs of two of the Valkyries. She slipped them through the belt loops of the man and woman, binding them to each other. From where she stood, Chris could see that the moon formed a halo around the couple. It would have been a beautiful scene—if it were not for all that had happened. If that man and woman were not so distant from each other—or so close.
    “I am unworthy of seeing my angel,” Rotha said to Valhalla. “I am weak, and my heart is filled with shame.”
    “I am unworthy of seeing my angel,” Paulo said, so that all could hear. “I have hatred in my heart.”
    “I have loved many,” Rotha said. “But spurned true love.”
    “I have nourished hatred for years, and avenged myself over things that were unimportant,” Paulo continued. “I was always forgiven by my friends, but never learned how to forgive them in return.”
    Valhalla turned to face the moon.
    “We are here, archangel. The Lord’s will be done. Our inheritance is hatred and fear, humiliation and shame. The Lord’s will be done.
    “Why was it not enough simply to close the gates to Paradise? Did you also have to cause us to carry hell in our hearts? But, if that is the will of the Lord, you must know that all of humanity has been doing his will for generations and generations.”
    Then Valhalla began to stride in circles around the couple, chanting.

Chapter 40
     
    “T HIS IS THE PREFACE, THE SALUTATION.
    “Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ, forever may he be praised.
    “Guilty warriors are speaking to You.
    “Those who have always used the best weapons they have—against themselves.
    “Those who deem themselves unworthy of blessings. Those who believe that happiness is not for them. Those who suffer more greatly than others do.
    “Those who arrived at the gates of freedom, gazed at paradise, and said to themselves: ‘We should not enter. We are not deserving.’ They are speaking to You.
    “Those who one day experienced the judgment of others, and concluded that most of them were right. They are speaking to You.
    “Those who judge and condemn themselves. They are speaking to You.”

Chapter 41
     
    O NE OF THE V ALKYRIES HANDED THE BELT to Valhalla, and she raised it toward heaven.
    This is the first element: Air.
    “Here is the belt. If we are that way, punish us.
    “Punish us because we are different. Because we have dared to dream, and to believe in those things no one else any longer believes in.
    “Punish us because we challenged what exists, what everyone else accepts, what most others want to remain unchanged.
    “Punish us because we speak of faith, and we feel hopeless. We speak of love, but we receive neither the affection nor the comfort we feel we deserve. We speak of freedom, and we are prisoners to our own guilt.
    “Lord, even were I to raise this belt high, high enough to touch the stars, I would not touch your hand.
    “Because your hand covers our heads. And it caresses us, and you say to us: ‘Suffer no more. I have already suffered enough.’
    “You say to us: ‘Like you, I dreamed, and I believed in a new world. I spoke of love, and at thesame time, asked our Father to end my ordeal. I challenged what was. What the majority cared not to change. I thought I was wrong when I performed my first miracle: changing water to wine, simply to enliven a party. I felt the hard stare of others, and I shouted, “Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?”’
    “They have already used the belt on me. You need suffer no more.”

Chapter 42
     
    V ALHALLA THREW THE BELT TO THE ground, and scattered sand to the wind.
    This is the second element: Earth.
    “We are a part of this world, Lord. And this world is filled with our fears.
    “We will write our sins in the sand, and it will be the desert wind’s task to scatter them.
    “Keep our hands strong, keep us from ceasing to struggle, even though we judge ourselves unworthy of going into battle.
    “Make use of our lives, nourish our dreams. If we are made of the Earth, the Earth is also made of us. Everything is only one thing.
    “Teach us and use us. We are forever yours.
    “The Law was reduced to one commandment: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
    “If we love, the world changes. The light of love scatters the darkness of guilt.
    “Keep us strong in love. Make us