This Is Where I Leave You

want to discuss. Dad left half of the business to me. The other half is divided into three even shares for Wendy, Judd, and Phillip. So together, each of you will own one-sixth of a business that has not shown a profit in going on three years. The shares won’t generate any cash for you. Barney will have the bank valuate the shares, and then I’m going to buy them back from you. Depending on the value, I may not have the cash readily available, so I hope you’ll all cut me a little slack until I come up with it.”
    “What is each share worth, roughly?” Phillip says. “I mean, what are we talking about here?”
    “What about Mom?” Wendy asks. “Isn’t the business hers too?”
    “Between Mom’s royalties and Dad’s life insurance and pension, 126she’s more than taken care of for the rest of her life,” Paul says. “I know you all might have been expecting a little bit more from Dad’s estate. Unfortunately, there’s not much that isn’t tied up in the business, which, like I said, isn’t in the best shape. There is the house though. It’s been assessed at upwards of a million dollars. Dad has it set up in a trust for us. When Mom sells it, we’ll all make a nice profit.”
    “I’m not selling the house,” Mom says from the kitchen doorway.
    “Well, not right now.”
    “Not ever!” she says. “I’m only sixty-three years old, for God’s sake.”
    “I just meant - ”
    “I know what you meant. You want to pull up the floorboards and look for money, you go right ahead. But make no mistake, I’m going to die in this house!”
    “Okay, Mom,” Paul says, turning red. He and Alice exchange a quick, guarded look. “Forget I said anything.”
    Mom starts to say something else, but Linda comes up behind her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Hill,” she says. “He didn’t mean it like that.”
    “This is my home,” Mom says, still irate.
    “I know,” Linda says, leading her back into the kitchen. “It’s okay.”
    We all stare at Paul, pissed at him for implicating us.
    “The point is,” Paul says, “I’ve been working my ass off to try to save this business. I still don’t know if I’m going to be able to. We’re looking at closing one or possibly two stores - ”
    “I was actually thinking I’d like to join the company,” Phillip says. His statement is greeted with stunned silence. Alice looks at Paul, her eyes wide with alarm. Tracy looks at Phillip, proud and knowing. Even Barry puts down his paper to pay attention. Wendy looks at me, her eyes widening with glee. Her smile says, This is about to get good.
    “What are you talking about?” Paul says.
    Phillip wipes his mouth and clears his throat. “I talked to Dad about it a little while back. It’s something he built for us, something he wanted to pass on. It’s his legacy to us, and I’d like to be a part of it.”
    “Okay.” Paul nods his head and puts down his coffee mug. “And what is it you’d like to do for the company, Phillip?”
    “I want to help you grow it.”
    “The only thing you’ve ever grown was hemp.”
    “And I made a profit.”
    “Not nearly as much as we spent on your lawyers when you got busted.”
    “Listen, Paul. You don’t believe in me. I get that. I never believed in myself either, really. But people can change. I’ve changed. And we complement each other. You’re the brains of the operation, I know that. But what about advertising and promotion? What about personnel and PR? I’m a people person, Paul. That’s who I am. And you’re ...not one. You’re a good guy, but you’re a hard-ass and, let’s face it, you’re a little scary. You’re actually scaring me right now. Your face looks very red. Are you even breathing? Is he breathing?”
    Paul brings his hand crashing down on the table. “This is my life!” he shouts. “I have given the last ten years of my life to this company, and it’s barely supporting Alice and me. I’m in debt up to my ass, and the company is in trouble. I’m sorry, Phillip, but we just can’t afford to be the next stop on your tour of professional self-destruction.”
    “I understand why you’d say that, I do,” Phillip says. “But this is a family business, Paul. And I’m in the lucky sperm club, same as you.”
    Paul gets up and shoves his chair back. “We’re not having this conversation.”
    Mom comes back into the room, looking concerned. “What conversation?”
    “Fine,” Phillip says. “I kind of dropped that like