Thud!

could only stand so much shaking.
    And Sybil was taking Young Sam. That was stupid, except that it…wasn’t stupid, not after dwarfs had broken into your home. Home was where you had to feel safe. If you didn’t feel safe, it wasn’t home. Against all common sense, he agreed with Sybil. Home was where they were together. She’d already sent off an urgent clacks to some old chum of hers who lived near the valley; she seemed to think it was going to be some kind of family outing.
    There was a group of dwarfs hanging around on a corner, heavily armed. Maybe the bars were all full, or maybe they needed cooling down, too. No law against hanging around, right?
    Wrong, growled Vimes as he drew nearer. Come along, boys. Say something wrong. Lay hold of a weapon. Move slightly. Breathe loudly. Give me something that could be stretched to “in self-defense.” It’d be my word against yours, and believe me, lads, I’m unlikely to leave you capable of saying a single damn thing .
    The dwarfs took one clear look at the approaching vision, haloed in torchlight and mist, and took to their heels.
    Right!

V imes didn’t remember going to sleep. He didn’t remember sleeping. He surfaced from darkness when Carrot shook him awake.
    “The coaches are in the yard, Mister Vimes!”
    “Fwisup?” murmured Vimes, blinking in the light.
    “I’ve told people to load them up, sir, but—”
    “But what?” Vimes sat up.
    “I think you’d better come and see, sir.”

W hen Vimes stepped out into the damp dawn, two coaches were indeed standing in the yard. Detritus was idly watching the loading, while leaning on the Piecemaker.
    Carrot hurried over when he saw the commander.
    “It’s the wizards, sir,” he said. “They’ve done something.”
    The coaches looked normal enough to Vimes, and he said so.
    “Oh, they look fine,” said Carrot. He reached down and put his hand on the doorsill, and added: “But they do this.”
    He lifted the laden coach over his head.
    “You shouldn’t be able to do that,” said Vimes.
    “That’s right, sir,” said Carrot, lowering the coach gently onto the cobbles. “It doesn’t get any heavier with people inside, either. And if you come over here, sir, they’ve done something to the horses, too.”
    “Any idea what they’ve done, Captain?”
    “None whatsoever, sir. The coaches were just outside the university. Haddock and I drove them down here. Very light, of course. It’s the harnesses that are worrying me. See here, sir.”
    “I see the leather’s very thick,” said Vimes. “And what’re all these copper knobs? Something magical?”
    “Could be, sir. Something happens at thirteen miles an hour. I don’t know what.” Carrot patted the side of the coach, which slid away.
    “The thing is, sir, I don’t know how much of an edge this gives you.”
    “What? Surely a weightless coach would—”
    “Oh, it’ll help, sir, especially on the inclines. But horses can only go so fast for so long, sir, and once they’ve got the coach moving, it’s a rolling weight and not so much of a problem.”
    “Thirteen miles an hour,” Vimes mused. “Hmm. That’s pretty fast.”
    “Well, the mail coaches are getting nine or ten miles an hour average on many runs now,” said Carrot. “But the roads will get a lot worse when you get near Koom Valley.”
    “You don’t think it’ll take wing, do you?”
    “I think the wizards would have said so if it was going to do something like that, sir. But it’s funny you should mention it, because there’s seven broomsticks nailed underneath each coach.”
    “What? Why don’t they just float out of the yard?”
    “Magic, sir. I think they just compensate for the weight.”
    “Good grief, yes. Why didn’t I think of that?” said Vimes sourly. “And that’s why I don’t like magic, Captain. ’cos it’s magic . You can’t ask questions, it’s magic. It doesn’t explain anything, it’s magic. You don’t know where it comes from, it’s magic! That’s what I don’t like about magic, it does everything by magic!”
    “That’s the significant factor, sir, there’s no doubt about it,” said Carrot. “I’ll just see to the last of the packing, if you’ll excuse me…”
    Vimes glared at the coaches. He probably shouldn’t have brought in the wizards, but where was the choice? Oh, they could probably have sent Sam Vimes all that way in a puff of smoke and the blink of an eye, but who’d actually arrive there, and