Thud!

believe it is a kind of bad dream. I have not dared tell them about your ‘newspapers,’ printed every day and discarded like rubbish. The shock would kill them.”
    But dwarfs invented the printing engine, Vimes thought.
    Obviously, they were the wrong kind of dwarf. I’ve seen Cheery throw stuff in the wastepaper basket, too. It seems like nearly all dwarfs are the wrong sort, eh?
    “What exactly is your job, Mr. Ardent?” said Vimes.
    “I am their chief liaison with the World Above. The steward, you could say.”
    “I though that was Helmclever’s job?”
    “Helmclever? He orders the groceries, relays my orders, pays the miners, and so on. The chores, in fact,” said Ardent disdainfully. “He is a novice, and his job is to do what I tell him. It is I who speaks to the grags.”
    “You talk to bad dreams on their behalf?”
    “You could put it that way, I suppose. They would not let a proud word-killer become a smelter. The idea would be abominable.”
    They glared at each other.
    Once again, we end up in Koom Valley, Vimes told himself. They won’t—
    “Permission to make a suggestion?” said Angua quietly.
    Two heads turned. Two mouths said: “Well?”
    “The…smelter. The seeker of the truth. Must they be a dwarf?”
    “Of course!” said Ardent.
    “Then what about Captain Carrot? He’s a dwarf.”
    “We know of him. He is an…anomaly,” said Ardent. “His claim to dwarfishness is debatable.”
    “But most dwarfs in the city accept that he’s a dwarf,” said Angua. “And he’s a copper, too.”
    Ardent flopped back into his seat. “To your dwarfs here, yes, he is a dwarf. He would be unacceptable to the grags.”
    “There’s no dwarf law that says a dwarf can’t be more than six feet tall, sir.”
    “The grags are the law, woman,” Ardent snapped. “They interpret laws that go back for tens of thousands of years.”
    “Well, ours don’t,” said Vimes. “But murder is murder anywhere. The news has got out. You’ve already got the dwarfs and the trolls simmering nicely, and this will bring it all right to the boil. Do you want a war?”
    “With the trolls? That is—”
    “No, with the city. A place inside the walls where the law doesn’t run? His lordship won’t accept that one.”
    “You would not dare!” said the dwarf.
    “Look into my eyes,” said Vimes.
    “There are far more dwarfs than there are watchmen,” said Ardent, but the amused expression had fled.
    “So what you are telling me is that law is just a matter of numbers?” said Vimes, standing up. “I thought you dwarfs practically worshiped the idea of law. Is numbers all it is? I’ll swear in more men, then. Trolls, too. They’re citizens, just like me. Are you sure every dwarf is on your side? I’ll raise the regiments. I’ll have to. I know how things are run in Llamedos and Uberwald, but they are not run like that here. One law, Mr. Ardent. That’s what we’ve got. If I let people slam their front door on it, I might as well shut down the Watch.”
    Vimes walked to the doorway. “That’s my offer. Now I’m going back to the Yard—”
    “Wait!”
    Ardent sat staring at the desktop, drumming his fingers on it.
    “I do not have…seniority here,” he said.
    “Let me talk to your grags. I promise to rub out no words.”
    “No. They will not talk to you. They do not talk to humans. They are waiting below. They had word of your arrival. They are frightened. They do not trust humans.”
    “Why?”
    “Because you are not dwarfs,” said Ardent. “Because you are…a sort of bad dream.”
    Vimes put his hand on the dwarf’s shoulder.
    “Then let’s go downstairs, where you can talk to them about nightmares,” he said, “and you can point out which one is me.”
    There was a long silence until Ardent said: “Very well. This is under protest, you understand.”
    “I’ll be happy to make a note of that,” said Vimes. “Thank you for your cooperative attitude,” he added.
    Ardent stood up and produced a ring of complex keys from his robes.
    Vimes tried to keep track of the journey, but it was hard. There were twists and turns, in dim tunnels that seemed all alike. There was not a trace of water anywhere. How far did the tunnels go? How far down? How far out? Dwarfs mined through granite. They could probably stroll through river mud.
    In fact, in most places, the dwarfs hadn’t so much mined as cleaned house, taking away the silt, tunneling from one ancient, dripping room to