Unspoken

much better. Why make life more difficult than necessary? It was hard enough to make a relationship work. Did he also have to hassle with other people’s children and ex-husbands? No thanks.
    But there was just one hitch. Emma was the one he wanted.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 22
    On Saturday morning Anders woke up when Leif knocked on the door and barged into the room.
    “Wake up, sleepy-head! It’s eight o’clock and breakfast is ready!”
    Groggy with sleep, he sat up in bed. Leif was looking shamelessly frisky.
    “I’ve already been out to chop wood. It’s glorious weather. Just have a look outside,” he said, nodding toward the window.
    Anders turned his head. To his great surprise, he saw the sun gleaming over the expanse of the sea, which was blue and relatively calm.
    He had almost forgotten how beautiful the view was. When they arrived the day before it was already dark.
    “Incredible! I’ll be right down.”
    He took a quick hot shower. What a luxurious summer house this is , he thought as he admired the lovely tiled wall.
    Breakfast was on the table when he came downstairs to the kitchen: a real Gotland loaf of rye bread, butter, cheese, liver sausage, ham, salami, and vegetables. The aroma of strong coffee was spreading through the kitchen. A fire was crackling in the fireplace.
    Anders appreciated Leif’s sense for food, and he dug in with a good appetite.
    “What service,” he said, grinning at his friend, who was sitting on the other side of the table, studying a nautical chart.
    “Tomorrow it’s your turn to make breakfast. I was thinking that we should take the boat out, since it’s such good weather. A light wind and forty-one degrees.”
    “It’s great to see sunshine in the middle of December. That’s a real treat.”
    “Did you sleep well?”
    Anders hesitated for a second. “Like a rock. How about you?”
    “Same here. I always sleep well in the country.”
    Anders cleared the breakfast dishes and packed up his gear. He was looking forward to the fishing trip.
    Two days left before Christmas. Anticipation was shining in the children’s eyes. At the same time, she found herself as far away from the idyllic family scene and the serenity of Christmas as she could get. She woke up in Viveka’s guest room, feeling sick. The pregnancy probably wasn’t the only reason. It had been a late night. She and Viveka had consumed a lot of wine and stayed up talking half the night.
    She might as well go ahead and drink wine. She no longer needed to think about the well-being of the baby. She had made up her mind, but she wasn’t able to get an appointment for an abortion until after Christmas. She was going to have to spend the entire holiday noticing the clear signs of her pregnancy. A constant reminder of the child growing inside of her.
    She still hadn’t dared talk to Johan. She didn’t want him to influence her decision. Of course it was selfish, but she didn’t see any other option. She had chosen to lock him out. She had distanced herself from him completely and refused to speak to him on the phone. She defended her actions by telling herself that it was sheer self-preservation. It was lucky that he had gone back to Stockholm. That made things a little easier. To see him now would be disastrous. And she had to think about the children she already had.
    They had decided to celebrate a completely normal Christmas, with the whole family together. To visit relatives and friends and do everything they usually did. She would just have to suffer through the nausea as best she could. She had only herself to blame, and Olle didn’t seem to be the least bit sorry for her. There wasn’t a trace of the sympathy he had exhibited when she was pregnant with his own children.
    When she saw Sara and Filip she was filled with tenderness. They had no inkling of the chaos that was raging inside their mother.
    The doorbell rang. With a sigh she got out of bed and fumbled for her bathrobe. It wasn’t even ten o’clock.
    When she opened the door she found herself looking at the faces of her husband and children.
    “Good morning!” they cried in unison.
    “You have to get dressed,” Sara told her eagerly. “Hurry up!”
    “What’s going on?”
    Emma cast an inquiring glance at Olle, who was looking sly.
    “You’ll see. Go and get ready. We’ll wait.”
    Viveka was now up, and she came out to the entryway.
    “Hi. Has something happened?”
    “No. We’re just here to pick up Emma,” said