Vampire 01 - Daughter of Darkness

I had, Buddy. I was fantasizing, just as I’ve been fantasizing about us and everything turning out wonderful.”
    “It will,” he insisted.
    “I’ve lied to you too much. There can’t be love without trust.”
    He was silent for a moment. I hated doing this to him. I could feel the pain in his heart in my heart, and although I couldn’t see his eyes clearly in the darkness, I knew they were glossed with tears, just as mine were.
    “Well, what are you going to do, go out with another criminal, marry another hit man? Is that what your father would approve of?” he said, raising his voice. “Whatis it, one of those Sicilian things? Is he a made man? Does he work for some godfather?”
    “I don’t know what will please him. I know he wouldn’t approve of you and me. He’d feel threatened, and Daddy doesn’t like feeling threatened,” I said, hoping I sounded frightening enough to scare him away.
    “Okay. So, let’s just keep ourselves secret until we figure something out.”
    “It wouldn’t matter, anyway, Buddy. We’re leaving soon,” I said.
    “Leaving? When?”
    “When Daddy says, but it should be less than a few weeks.”
    “Daddy, Daddy. How can you call someone like that Daddy?” he asked, his anger raw now because of his pain.
    “It’s who I’ve known him to be all my life, Buddy. He does have some very nice qualities. He loves me and my sisters very much, and as you just said, he has had some terrible disappointments in love himself.”
    “How’d his wife die? I mean, really?”
    “I told you the truth about her. I know you’re very upset, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you any more, Buddy. That’s why I decided we shouldn’t do this. Trust me. I’m right about it.”
    “I fell in love with you, Lorelei. I’m still in love with you no matter what,” he said defiantly. He started the car and turned us around. “I imagine you still will permit me to drop you off at your house.”
    “Yes, thank you,” I said.
    “Where are you going to go? Where’s your father’s next territory?” he asked sarcastically.
    “We’re going to Louisiana, but I’m not sure exactly where yet.”
    “Yeah, I heard Louisiana has always had a big organized-crime population.”
    I was silent. He drove fast, angrily.
    “Jeez, I feel as if I was with a schizophrenic today,” he said. He looked at me as though he was really wondering if I had some mental illness.
    “Listen to me, Buddy. It’s all my fault. I thought I could have a normal relationship with someone, but I realized I was fooling myself and hurting you. It’s less painful for us both this way.”
    “Yeah, I know. You keep saying that. How can you live this way? Don’t you want to have a normal relationship?”
    “For now, it has to be this way,” I said.
    “Yeah, well, don’t forget to write me when you can have a normal relationship.”
    Of course, I understood why he was so angry, but I thought it was better that he be mad at me now than what would come later. We rode in silence for a while.
    “Better tell me this time where to turn.”
    “It’s not much farther.”
    “So, is your father home or not?”
    “Not yet,” I said.
    “At least that was true,” he muttered.
    “The next road on the left,” I said, and he slowed down to turn.
    “So, after I drop you off now, I won’t see you again? Is that it?”
    “I don’t know,” I said.
    “You don’t know?”
    “Maybe you won’t want to see me again now, Buddy.”
    “From what you’re telling me, I shouldn’t. Unless I just want to have some good sex,” he added. He was quiet a moment and then said, “I’m sorry. I’m just… frustrated.”
    “I know.”
    “God, you’re calm about this.”
    “Turn up here,” I said when we reached our driveway. It led up a small incline. “You can stop here,” I said when we reached the top. Our house was just off to the left.
    “Here?”
    “Just in case,” I said. I opened the door. “Good night, Buddy,” I said. “Thanks for…”
    “For what?”
    “Everything,” I said, and got out.
    He watched me walk toward the house and then turned around and left. I stood there until his car lights were gone, and I looked at the house. Most of the lights were out, as they usually were in anticipation of an arrival. I felt my legs begin to tremble. It was as though we were having an earthquake and the ground beneath my feet was shaking.
    At first, when I entered the house, I saw no one. Then Ava stepped