Witches Abroad

first, before you have the swamp.”
    “Oh, dear,” said Nanny. She shrugged. “Well, Ella’s got away and so have we, so this is the part where we escape, yes? That’s what we’re supposed to do.”
    None of them moved.
    “They aren’t very nice people in there,” said Magrat, after a while, “but they don’t deserve alligators.”
    “You witches stand right there,” said a voice behind them. Half a dozen guards were crowded around the hole in the wall.
    “Life’s certainly busier in the city,” said Nanny, pulling another hatpin from her hat.
    “They’ve got crossbows,” warned Magrat. “There’s not much you can do against crossbows. Projectile weapons is Lesson Seven and I haven’t had that yet.”
    “They can’t pull triggers if they think they’ve got flippers,” said Granny menacingly.
    “Now,” said Nanny, “let’s not have any of that, eh? Everyone knows the good ones always win specially when they’re outnumbered.”
    The guards emerged.
    As they did so a tall black shape dropped noiselessly from the wall behind them.
    “There,” said Nanny, “I said he wouldn’t go far from his mummy, didn’t I?”
    One or two of the guards realized that she was staring proudly past them, and turned.
    As far as they were concerned, they confronted a tall, broad-shouldered man with a mane of black hair, an eyepatch and a very wide grin.
    He stood with his arms casually folded.
    He waited until he had their full attention, and then Greebo let his lips part slowly.
    Several of the men took a step backward then.
    One of them said, “Why worry? It’s not as if he’s got a weap—”
    Greebo raised one hand.
    Claws make no noise as they slide out, but they ought to. They ought to make a noise like “tzing.”
    Greebo’s grin widened.
    Ah! These still worked…
    One of the men was bright enough to raise his crossbow but stupid enough to do it with Nanny Ogg standing behind him with a hatpin. Her hand moved so swiftly that any wisdom-seeking saffron-clad youth would have started the Way of Mrs. Ogg there and then. The man screamed and dropped the bow.
    “Wrowwwl…”
    Greebo leapt.
    Cats are like witches. They don’t fight to kill, but to win. There is a difference. There’s no point in killing an opponent. That way, they won’t know they’ve lost, and to be a real winner you have to have an opponent who is beaten and knows it. There’s no triumph over a corpse, but a beaten opponent, who will remain beaten every day of the remainder of their sad and wretched life, is something to treasure.
    Cats do not, of course, rationalize this far. They just like to send someone limping off minus a tail and a few square inches of fur.
    Greebo’s technique was unscientific and wouldn’t have stood a chance against any decent swordsmanship, but on his side was the fact that it is almost impossible to develop decent swordsmanship when you seem to have run into a food mixer that is biting your ear off.
    The witches watched with interest.
    “I think we can leave him now,” said Nanny. “I think he’s having fun.”
    They hurried toward the hall.

    The orchestra was in the middle of a complicated number when the lead violinist happened to glance toward the door, and then dropped his bow. The cellist turned to see what had caused this, followed his colleague’s fixed stare, and in a moment of confusion tried to play his instrument backward.
    In a succession of squeaks and flats, the orchestra stopped playing. The dancers continued for a while out of sheer momentum, and then stopped and milled about in confusion. And then, one by one, they too looked up.
    Saturday stood at the top of the steps.
    In the silence came the drumming, making the music that had gone before seem as insignificant as the chittering of crickets. This was the real blood music; every other music that had ever been written was merely a pitiful attempt to sing along.
    It poured into the room, and with it came the heat and the warm, vegetable smell of the swamp. There was a suggestion of alligator in the air—not the presence of them, but the promise.
    The drumming grew louder. There were complex counter-rhythms, much more felt than heard.
    Saturday brushed a speck of dust off the shoulder of his ancient coat, and reached out an arm.
    The tall hat appeared in his hand.
    He reached out his other hand.
    The black cane with the silver top whirred out of the empty air and was snatched up triumphantly.
    He put the hat on his head.