Write me a Letter

by adenoidal valley girls
    i see stars
    it is only my neighbor a milky way candy bar wrapper
    cuddled up for comfort gainst a lipsticked tissue

    CANTATA THE FIRST EXPENDITURES
    To have to
    Catch a bus .75
    To
    Catch a bus .75
    To
    Catch a bus 6.50
    Is bad enough
    When loving arms await at t’other end,
    But when ’tis user hostile LAX,
    I tell ya, Tex ,
    It’s tough on this delicate bit o’
    Fluff.
    But when needs must,
    Watch my dust.
    So: Born Again lives again—
    In Ma’s old dress ’n’ Granny shoes,
    Dewy cheeks scrubbed and shining,
    Eyes a-burning with that Inner Light
    So annoying to others of lower wattage—
    I wonder Y?
    Is it fear of X,
    The unknown? Or fear of what could B
    For me, could also B
    For thee?

    Did my job. Smiled and smiled and distributed posies, 5.00
    Skulked and spyed out this boyo who looked suss.
    TOTAL
    $13.00

    ”Excuse me, Mr. Clam,” I said, ”but how do you spell spied?” But Mr. Clam was asleep again.

    EXPENDITURE TOTAL
    Telephoned V.D. (chuckle)
    In S.E $13.00
    Went home .75
    You know how. 8.00
    Soup ’n’ steak sandies for supper.
    The phone rang once. It was the Speaking Clock,
    Wanting to know what time it was.

    CANTATA THE SECOND
    O
    Canada ,
    EXPENDITURE TOTAL
    See what you done to me.
    It’s Tits McGurk 1 toque $9-95 Can.
    & George the Jerk
    Under a spreading maple tree.

    CANTATA THE THIRD
    So Benny sez to me sez he,
    In the highly unlikely event
    That anyone calls your numero
    And asks for a certain Mrs. Clam,
    You are she. You are married to me.
    We dwell in Chippewa Falls ,
    And our doggy’s name is Bob.
    Other revolting details followed.
    Alerted parents. Yestermorn
    When I was yet abed, to my surprise
    A call did come. It was de Law.
    My hubby shot! Not once but twice!!
    What could I do, plead the vapors,
    Say I had a more important engagement,
    I just had to get my nails done, I couldn’t possibly
    Be seen in public the way they were?
    I had to show up in Sac prontissimo like a good
    Little loyal wifie-poo Is what I had to do...

    Ticket 84.00
    New outfits 145.00
    ” perfume 20.00
    ” makeup 18.00
    “ hairdo 25.00
    Motel per night 28.00
    Food per day 30.00
    Carmen rollers 9.95

    ... and what I done.
    And what I will have to go on doing
    Until we get Benny outa here!
    Stuck in Sac! I’d rather be stuck in
    Shit right up to my (newly) plucked eyebrows.
    By the by the by, flew up here with Evonne,
    Case she never mentioned it, ha-ha-ha-ha.
    Yesterday before she left we rendezvoused
    As per arranged, which is how I knew
    You and Henry C. Clam were but strangers In the night,
    Exchanging meaningful glances.

    TOTAL AND MORE TO COME
    $404.65

    i feel like a bruised peach
    in a skid row supermarket
    the kind with barred windows
    and sagging tin door
    fingered too often by unwashed hands
    the deadly softness spreads
    wasps gather

    ”Wasps gather”— spare me! Nurse! I’m sinking fast! I’m making medical history, I’m going to be the first person in the world ever to die of acute doggerelitis, except maybe Rod McKuen’s editor. And she flew up with Precious, did she, in case Precious never mentioned it. She knew perfectly well Precious never mentioned it, but rest assured I was going to mention it to Precious the next time I saw her. Very funny, girls. I’m practically dying and they’re preparing amusing surprises for me. And that so-called expense account. First of all, she probably made money with those posies, she never mentioned that; people in airports who hand you posies ask for donations, don’t they. And I noticed she included that $9-95 Canadian in the ludicrous total without converting it into U.S. currency; what a piker. You’d have thought that love might have mellowed her attitude toward money just a trifle but no such luck. Speaking of love, I wondered briefly how her big affair with Willing Boy was going... I reminded myself to ask her discreetly when she got back with my repast, if she ever did.
    She did, finally. I devoured the chopped chicken liver on white while Benny was out of the room being X rayed; the orderly who wheeled him out told me he had to be X rayed daily to make sure no fluids were accumulating in the damaged lung. The twerp exited with them and did not reappear until the following morning, to my intense relief. I spent what was left of that miserable day not moving and reading the basketball magazine Precious had brought me. There was an article in it comparing the relative merits of Larry Bird, Michael